• When someone comes to me and says, “Matt, it’s 10pm I need to go to porn. My resonse is…Have you not loved yourself at all today? How has your self-talk been? How has giving yourself compassion been lately? 
• When someone at 9pm has an urge to go to porn to try to meet their needs in a toxic or destructive, unhealthy way, ask, what is the real need? 
• No one goes to porn because they don’t love God enough. Because they’re not praying enough. Because they’re not reading their Bible enough. People go to porn because we don’t love ourselves enough. 
• Porn is usually an act of self-hatred where you’re disconnecting from you to not want to be with you because you think that you’re not enough as you are. You can’t be okay as you are. 
• What would it look like to bring compassion, kindnes, empathy in? 
• Did you practice? What work have you been putting in? Have you been connecting to your heat? Have you been becoming connected and aware of what you’re needing? Have you done anything for yourself to take care of you in your connection with God, with yourself, with other people? So that you’re going to bed feeling connected, seen, and significant.

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• Porn is not sexual. Sex is not about sex. It’s about an emotional and spirtual connection with your spouse. 
• You were chasing the feeling of belonging, connection, and intimacy. 
• The connection is disconnection. No one goes to porn because they want pleasure, they just want to feel less bad. 

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• If we focused not on the behavior, not on what your streak has been, not on how many days it’s been, but you actually focus on the innards of a man’s heart that we all want to run from. If you were to ask, hey, how is your heart doing? 
• Let’s focus on the heart, with a lot of compassion, so much kindness. Unless you’re able to see somebody with a lot of compassion in their mess, you have no authority to help them. 
• Sit with them, not there to fix them. 
• Why do you really go there, in the first place?