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Dating Tools

for Christians

Whose churches, mamas, and pastors don’t give the best advice.

Feeling lost in the confusing world of dating as a Christian? Trade your confusion for biblical insight, practical resources, and a powerful community of singles to help transform your dating life!

Dating Expert, Author, Overachiever, Ex Love-Addict

Hey friend, it’s your girl Kait!

I’ve had my fair share of unexpected heartbreaks, nightmarish first dates, and unexplained ghosting. Believe me, I’ve seen it all (and dated it all), and if you’re anything like I was, you’re probably fed up with advice from well meaning pastors who got married at 22 and have never actually had to swipe their way into an oblivion.

Here’s the deal, as a woman who dated for 18 years well into the modern age of dating apps and ghosting, I can confidently tell you: dating can get better. I went from loathing this process, to walking in my worth, feeling confident to make a move, and finally dating with joy and integrity. Eventually I met the RIGHT guy for me… JJ Tomlin! But not gonna lie, he was totally unexpected. When I met him he was a skater punk boy with blue hair living in Seattle and was 5.5 years younger than me. I never would have seen myself dating someone that much younger than me, BUT GOD had other plans! And guess what is even more unexpected? God brought our paths TOGETHER to now serve single Christian men and women in a fresh and new way. How GOOD is our God?

If you let us, we’d love to meet you where you are, love on you, challenge you a bit, but most importantly help you truly LOVE this time in your life.

(PS. I only have one rule: you have to be willing to talk about the hard stuff, k?)

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Meet JJ Tomlin, Co-Host of HOD, Former Skater Punk Boy, Former Pro Football Player

What is up my friends!

I have definitely been on a journey of dating like a boy to dating like a man. I have been on both sides of the ghosting, left on read, broken up with and rejected so I FEEL you! 

I definitely get the unspoken, complicated rules of the dating game. I understand the double-standard of being part of the male species who are criticized for leading too boldly, then again for not leading enough at all.

At the end of the day, the only way I believe we can effectively lead is by dying to ourselves and becoming the greatest servant-leaders. That is the true sign of man leading a relationship with wisdom, clarity and selflessness and what we at Heart of Dating challenge our men to strive for.

Heart of Dating


Pop in those ear buds and get ready for some #realtalk as we unmask the ever-so ambiguous world of dating as a Christian.

We’ve got the best binge-worthy episodes, powerful, nuanced conversations, and inspiring guests who’ll keep you coming back for more.

Tune in!

“Kait is so genuine and is overall an amazing woman! I know that every time I listen to her, she is real and not afraid to tackle hard subjects in relationships and life in general.”


“As a single man, this podcast is really so encouraging. Kait does such a great job encouraging both men and women in dating and giving practical advice”


“Heart of Dating has given me a new perspective into the dating world… Kait is in her 30s and still walking through it. She is raw and vulnerable and I feel like we are truly friends! This podcast has given me hope about being single and approaching 30.”


“As someone who grew up in the church I never knew how to date… I literally thought you just prayed a husband into existence and wait…. Thank you Kait for bringing truth into dating!”


“This podcast is so encouraging! It’s encouraging to hear single people describe the exact experiences you have endured, reminding you that you are NOT alone in your journey.”


“Singleness can be fun and a growing season and it feels like this is the community of singles I needed!”


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"Thank You for Rejecting me" book Cover

Thank You for Rejecting Me

Rejection can leave deep scars that affect our relationships, our self-worth, and our identities for years to come.

In Thank You for Rejecting Me, we’ll have an honest conversation about turning pain into purpose and fighting for ourselves when unexpected rejections come flying our way.


Attend our Next Global Event

Join Kait and JJ and thousands of Christian singles from around the world to learn, grow, and laugh together (with a side of mingling, but of course).

Our next event location is to be announced but will likely happen end of 2023! Get on our email list to be the FIRST to know more!


Join Our Patreon Community

In early 2018 Kait, started THIS Podcast that she hoped would encourage a healthy conversation around this difficult and somewhat murky subject of dating. God has made this journey thrive in ways we never saw coming!

JJ has joined the team as a co-host and is specifically passionate about calling men higher. We've added a men’s episode each week that we call Men Minisodes to serve our men more. We have added two amazing ladies to the Heart of Dating team who get the podcast out to YOU! So much has happened and changed and we're SO SO SO grateful! We have to be real though, running a podcast isn't cheap.SO! We’d love to invite you to join our exclusive community!! As we continue to grow it would be our dream to continue bringing you MORE- more video content, more episodes, a MEN’S ONLY PODCAST, and more!


The School of Dating Academy (also known as SOD).

Our 8-Week Intensive Mentorship Program to completely refresh your dating life + get REAL dating results.

In this program we equip you to MASTER your dating life. Through our unique journeys, we feel deeply called to walk alongside other singles to help them completely reconstruct their dating mindset, tool kit and experience from start to finish.

We have developed a 3-pronged pivot approach to dating that leads to REAL results. In this program you will leave with emboldened confidence, practical dating tools and a true transformation in the way you date.


"It’s the real deal. I didn’t know what to expect and my expectations aren’t easily blown but it’s really dope. You get to create your own profile, pick out your interests and be grouped with people who share the same interests. For example, I love self improvement and enneagram. There’s already an enneagram group and naturally I’m already vibing with people in the group. You owe it to yourself to AT LEAST give it shot."


"As a new person to HOD, it has tons of great offerings that just have never lived in one place and that connects both guys and gals while still allowing for a spot for men to meet. I'm super impressed with how clean the interface is and how truly connected I feel with the HOD brand in this initial launch. JJ, Kait, and the team did a killer job with it."


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Therapy is Sexy!

… Let us show you why. ;)

In today’s dating world, we are less concerned with seeing your credit score and more concerned with seeing a receipt from your therapist. You think we’re joking… but we’re not!

Emotional and mental well-being is hugely attractive! This is why we are so proud to partner up with Faithful Counseling. They offer affordable options to find virtual Christian therapists, and you’ll get 10% off your first month when you sign up through Heart of Dating!

Hundreds of people in our community use Faithful Counseling and LOVE it! We know you will too.


“It helped me to finally have closure from my uncommitted ex that led me on.”


“I got healed from all of my trauma!”


“My Christian Counselor challenged my cycle of shame and pointed me to Jesus again and again.”


“I’m finally making boundaries and feel confident that God wants me to have those boundaries.”


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Join our Heart of Dating Christian Singles Community

Are you a new or avid listener of the HOD podcast? Do you follow us on IG or TikTok but aren’t connected elsewhere? Have you been to one of our events but want to stay connected? Well here’s the deal. We created a SPACE for you to meet other Christian Singles in our HOD Family!

Our Heart of Dating Christian Singles Community FB group is specifically for single Christians 18+ who want to meet and/or do life together with other single Christians, and are serious about dating healthily. Our primary mission is to be a place to connect you with other christian singles- whether it be your new best friend or significant other- through friendly, and life-giving conversations.

request to JOIN THE FAMILY!

Kait & JJ's Fav Resources

With all the conflicting dating advice for Christians swirling in the atmosphere, where do you find super simple, practical help? Here’s where you find out!

These free resources are my game-changing ways to transform how you’re showing up in your current season, while gaining insight to date in ways that are smart, easy, and fun.

Meet us on the Gram!