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Intentional Singleness

with

Kait Tomlin

What is intentional singleness?

In one of our most listened-to episodes, Tara Leigh Cobble joined me for a vulnerable and open conversation about intentional singleness.

She spoke at our Heart of Dating Conference in 2020 and discussed her calling to intentional singleness. Tara-Leigh is the creator and host of The Bible Recap podcast and the author of the book of the same name. She founded D-Group, an international network of weekly discipleship and accountability groups, and she hosts a daily radio show called The God Shot.

Intentional singleness is exactly as it sounds, pursuing intentional singleness. During this time, you focus on all things other than dating and relationships. It's a time of full focus on one's self and relationship with God, while challenging, of course, it can also be such a joyful journey!

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What does an intentional singleness journey look like?

Tara Leigh shared that she has been in relationships and has always dreamt of getting married, but got increasingly frustrated with dating. She would go on dates all the time and found no luck, and out of frustration asked God if she had to keep doing this and He told her no. She felt relieved when she finally decided to pursue intentional singleness instead of intentionally pursuing dating. Her desire didn’t go away, but she’s decided to focus on other things and it’s been a joyous journey.

Tara-Leigh said it is hard to turn off that part of your brain, she still desires it, but doesn’t want to waste more time on it. She has decided to pursue contentment in the space she is in, instead of seeking contentment outside of it. She’s chosen to intentionally pursue a kingdom mindset and use her time for Christ instead of dating.

What advice would you give to someone who does want to surrender to intentional singleness?

Tara Leigh is full of wisdom and encouragement when it comes to intentional singleness. Her biggest pieces of advice for those wanting to surrender to a life of intentional singleness is:

- To start each day in conversation with God every day

- Get in God’s word

- Spend time with God and get to know His character and focus on that and not your “To Do List”

- Just look for who God is

- Your singleness is God’s conduit to reveal Himself to you

If you’re dating efforts don’t seem to be becoming blessings, consider just thriving in your singleness! Want more on this topic, check out my episode with Tara Leigh Cobble, EP 103: Intentional Singleness!

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