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How Do I Have Strong Physical Boundaries + Resist Masturbation?

with

John Mark Comer

SUMMER SERIES FLASHBACK TODAY FEATURING JOHN MARK COMER

Today, Kait sit’s down with John Mark Comer and they just GO there. On sex. Boundaries. The theology of love. The myth of the soulmate. And of course, masturbation. One question too far? We think not! John Mark has incredible things to say about all of the above and this is NOT an episode you’re going to want to miss.

Though this is one of our favorite interviews to date, we apologize in advance that at times our audio got a bit spotty. Forgive us BUT the content and John Mark’s wisdom is SO worth the listen.

John Mark lives, works, and writes in the urban center of Portland, Oregon, with his wife, Tammy, and their three children, Jude, Moses, and Sunday. He is the brilliant pastor for teaching and vision at Bridgetown Church… and boy does he do an incredible job. Prior to planting Bridgetown, John Mark was the lead pastor of a suburban megachurch. And even before that, he played in a band!  He is a man of many talents that’s for sure. John Mark has a master’s degree in biblical and theological studies from Western Seminary and is the author of Garden City, Loveology  God Has a Name, and My Name is Hope.

Physical Intimacy and Boundaries

Heyoo, let’s go there! In response to Kait’s question about physical intimacy prior to marriage, John Mark shared some principles to consider: 1. Work to make this relationship as Holy as possible. As cliche as that might sound, it’s true! 2. Don’t do anything that causes arousal 3. Talk about your beliefs openly and honestly and set boundaries with the counsel of your community 4. Have your community hold you to those boundaries 5. Don’t put yourselves in situations of temptation. Place yourselves in an environment where temptation goes down and accountability goes up.

In all ways regarding boundaries, John Mark says to, “Control your sexuality, as an act of LOVE”.

Trust is the foundation of the relationship. John Mark believes that we are only really vulnerable with people we truly trust and we can only experience deep love that transforms us when we are ruthlessly vulnerable with the other person.

MASTURBATION (Bc why not?!)

Kait asks questions about lust and masturbation and, while Scripture doesn’t speak to masturbation, it speaks often of lust. If a man masturbates without lust as purely a form a release, Scripture does not speak to that but it is difficult to have one without the other. John Mark thinks this is a very rare occurrence, as it is very difficult to seek gratification without lusting. Because the line between gratification and relief is thin, John Mark suggests a very strong warning and caution against masturbation.

Finally, when it comes to HOW much is too much to share with your sexual past, John Mark says that being vulnerable in a relationship and discussing the sexual past of both partners, depends on the couple. Don’t drop your sexual history on the first few dates but don’t be misleading either.In the end, John Mark’s ultimate Top Dating Advice is Make it Holy! As cliche as that sounds, it holds us to a high standards

Other Resources:

Visit John Mark’s Website HERE 

Get Loveology HERE

Follow John Mark on Instagram: @Johnmarkcomer

Follow John Mark on Twitter: Johnmarkcomer

Bridgetown Audio Podcast

This Cultural Moment Podcast

Get Loveology HERE

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