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Men Minisodes: She's Attractive...Does She Love Jesus?

with

JJ Tomlin

JJ brings his first ever solo episode for the MEN talking about how it’s not all about if she’s attractive physically and actually way more about how much she loves Jesus. 

Two stories here in the life of a single Christian dude

  • Beautiful girls losing charm phenomena. You meet/see a beautiful girl.. we are interested, put out of feelers, maybe some IG stalking. 
  • Most guys will only ask out a girl if they are physically attractive. 
  • You get to know them.. You hear their language, and evaluate their personality, their character.. They decrease in overall attractiveness -> FAST
  • The overlooked girl becomes incredibly beautiful and attractive over time. As you get to know them - you see how consistent they are, how selfless they are, how kind they are, how MATURE in Christ they are.. WOW - this girl is really, really attractive. 

Reality is this

  • We have a backward model of attraction steps that begins with physical attraction and then looks (hopes) that everything else will “fall into place” afterwards.. Character, spirit, fruit.
  • At this point, we all can acknowledge that physical attraction is massively initial, meaning it is the first thing.. Physical impression. However, what if we just let it be simply the first thing. 

Why this is a problem?

  • When we go with the flesh way a couple problematic things happen… we objectify. When objectify, we assign value that is our own value and not’s God image, not God’s value.
  • Side note: if you shame yourself into shutting this down without addressing the root, i have bad news… it’s not going away! 
  • From here the big problem that follows is this…we are inclined to overlook with a powerful bias. We have seed that has already been planted. Why? Because she is attractive physically, we are already swayed. Our evaluation has already been corrupted. 

How to change DEEPLY, how to mold and shape your criteria

  • Re-arrange our attractional model. Attack the emotional root that clings, thirsts and desires the physical attraction. 
  • Define and desire for biblical attraction to the God-image in them 
  • Start working the muscle of catching and releasing

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JJ Tomlin

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JJ Tomlin is a missionary kid born in Belgium, originally from Tennessee, and currently residing in the OC. He currently works in Gaming/E-Commerce, enjoys watching his Tennessee Titans on Sundays with his Goldendoodle Teddy and loves working with Christian men to raise the bar in singleness and dating.


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