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Intentional Singleness


Tara-Leigh Cobble

Friends, today we have a powerful episode released today. Kait brought back Tara-Leigh Cobble, who spoke at our Heart of Dating Conference 2020, to discuss her calling to intentional singleness.

Tara-Leigh is the creator and host of The Bible Recap podcast and the author of the book by the same name. She founded D-Group, an international network of weekly discipleship and accountability groups, and she hosts a daily radio show called The God Shot. She lives in Dallas, Texas.

Kait and Tara-Leigh had a powerful conversation about what it truly means to live a life of intentionally pursuing singleness. Tara-Leigh gets vulnerable and real about her own struggles and walk in faith as a single. Tara-Leigh’s insight and story shows us how God truly is the only thing that can fulfill our hearts.

In our Heart of Dating Conference, you spoke about Intentional Singleness. Could you share a little bit about what that journey has looked like for you?

  • She has been in relationships and has always dreamt of getting married, but got increasingly frustrated with dating.
  • She would go on dates all the time and found no luck, and out of frustration asked God if she had to keep doing this and He told her no.
  • She felt relieved when she finally decided to pursue intentional singleness instead of intentionally pursuing dating.
  • Her desire didn’t go away, but she’s decided to focus on other things and it’s been a joyous journey.

What has your season of intentional singleness allowed you to do?

  • Tara-Leigh said it is hard to turn off that part of your brain, she still desires it, but doesn’t want to waste more time on it.
  • She has decided to pursue contentment in the space she is in, instead of seeking contentment outside of it.
  • She’s chosen to intentionally pursue a kingdom mindset and use her time for Christ instead of dating.

Could you go into describing our good desires, even if God gives us a “no”?

  • When we make Psalm 37:4 our Mantra, it’s like we’re trying to corner God as if He “owes us” which is a selfish perspective.
  • What are the desires of your heart when you delight in the Lord? It should be well.. The Lord!
  • Desiring to get married is a good desire, but it’s still a fleshy desire and we have to submit to our spiritual desires.
  • “When I can begin to submit my fleshly desires to spiritual desires, my heart begins to look like His”
  • “God will say yes to everything that aligns with his Will.” and when God says no, it just means he has something that supersedes your fleshly desire.
  • We’ve begun to feel entitled or let pride come in with the “I deserve…” narrative
  • God doesn't give everyone the same gifts.

What advice would you give to someone who does want to surrender to intentional singleness?

  • Start each day in conversation with God everyday. Get in God’s word. 
  • Spend time with God and get to know His character and focus on that and not your “To Do List”
  • Just look for who God is.
  • Your singless is God’s conduit to reveal Himself to you.

If a man came into your life and tried to pursue you, would you say yes or no?

  • Tara-Leigh says she just stays in communication with God and just follows where He leads her.
  • If she would guess, she said there would be initial resistance, but she would seek guidance from people she trusts.
  • She can’t predict the future, but she chooses to simply stay in communication with Christ for a decision like that if it were to happen.

What is your final nugget of dating advice?

  • If you’re dating efforts don’t seem to be becoming blessings, consider just thriving in your singleness!
  • The only reason to get married is if the two of you would bring more glory to God together than you would apart.

Connect with Tara-Leigh!

Follow her on Instagram HERE

Find out more about Bible Recap HERE

Learn about Tara-Leigh's Ministry HERE

Find a bible reading group HERE

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Tara-Leigh Cobble

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