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The Ultimate Guide to Holidating

with

Kait Tomlin

It’s cuffing season…

When you look up the definition of cuffing season you’ll see that its described as the cold autumn and winter months seen as a period when it is especially desirable to enter into a romantic relationship. But what does that really mean…

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In This Episode

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Where can I meet people during the holidays?

There are SO many opportunities to meet people during the holidays, even if you’re a little more on the introverted side!

We all know that the holidays are a HUGE party season. Accept as many party invitations as possible to all the holiday parties IF you’re wanting to meet people and get your holidating on. You may be asking so how do I get yourself invited? Simple… just make it clear to people that you want to go to events! If you know a friend is going to a party (and it’s not like a birthday party) ask them if they mind if you go too. This is BOLD, but remember that you’re trying to put yourself out there.

- Go to holiday events! Not just parties, but events like a city tree lighting ceremony or a baking class. 

- Volunteering! At church but also outside of church. What better place to meet someone then if they’re serving?! 

- Church Events! Lots of churches have these, PLUS there is no reason why you can’t go to these events even if they’re not at the church you go to regularly. There are worship nights, holiday socials, ALL KINDS OF THINGS! It’s also a wonderful idea to SERVE at these events. 

- Setups! This can’t be from just anyone. This has to be from someone you TRUST who they know, someone who may have interest in you. The thing with setups is, don’t just ask for them, FOLLOW UP! 

- Dating apps!!!!! This is the number one way, truly, there is a spike in people using dating apps during this holiday season. If you’ve felt burnt out with dating apps the first thing you need to do is renew your mind when it comes to dating apps. We teach extensively about this in the School of Dating, but online dating is all about MINDSET.

Do's and Don'ts of Holidating

DO everything we just talked about above! 

DON’T jump the gun and bring your NEW person to holiday parties/work parties unless you are in a committed relationship because it’s TOO much PRESSURE. Remember oundaries and pace!

‍DON’T feel pressured to buy gifts! Do you buy gifts for someone you are newly dating? No. Don’t buy them anything BIG if you do get them something. If it’s super new, we don’t suggest getting them a gift at all. Wait until you’re in a serious committed relationship. You CAN get them LITTLE things that are more, “I saw this and thought of you,” and LESS “this is a Christmas gift for you.” 

DON’T bring them to FAMILY outings/family Christmas or Thanksgiving dinners! You just met them, absolutely NOT unless you’re in a committed relationship. BECAUSE this adds SO much pressure. You want to make your own assessment before bringing family into it. 

DON’T rush the process! This time of year is VERY romanticized. It’s easy to get lost in the feels and all the sentiment of doing Christmas-y things. Don’t throw your good wisdom and timelines out the window because you’re feeling extra feelings. Don’t rush the process. One date at a time. 

Where should I go on dates during the holidays?

Here are some creative ways to date during the holidays:

  • Ice Skating
  • Go to a store and buy your favorite Christmas item that reminds you of childhood, your favorite christmas snack, a christmas accessory that they have to wear the rest of the night
  • Cookie Decorating
  • Volunteer Together
  • Christmas light tour - Hot Cocoa and driving through a neighborhood to see lights with a christmas playlist playing…. BONUS pizza in the car after.
  • Indoor Christmas Picnic by the fireplace or Christmas tree - put up a christmas class on the TV in the background
  • Gingerbread house competition
  • Christmas Karaoke
  • Make handmade Christmas Cards or handmade ornaments
  • Christmas Movie Marathon

Don’t let another holiday season pass by with you in a holiday slump… this time of the year is the most wonderful time of the year, if you make it that way!

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