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MM: Men Won’t Date Women They’re Not Attracted To

with

JJ Tomlin

Today, JJ Tomlin dives deep into the essential topic of attraction in dating, discussing the balance between physical, emotional, and spiritual connections while sharing insights from Paul's teachings!

Introduction

Hey, Heart of Dating fam, we’re kicking off Season 13 mini mansodes with a bang!  Our first one of the season is already stirring the pot! Today, JJ Tomlin dives deep into the often unspoken truth that men won’t date women they aren’t attracted to.  This one’s particularly eye-opening and we’re amped to get into it. Grab your notebook, open your heart, and let’s delve into this essential conversation!

Taking Desires to God

JJ starts off by sharing the importance of being honest with our desires, including those for marriage and sexual desires, and bringing them to God.  He reminds us that while some desires are God-given, others can be purely flesh-driven and need to be surrendered to God.

Paul's Teachings on Marriage & Celibacy

Delving into Paul’s teachings, JJ emphasizes the value of keeping God’s commands out of love. He discusses the idea that there may not always be a specific calling to marriage or celibacy, but God allows us the autonomy to choose, using both paths to glorify Him.

Physical Attraction vs. Emotional & Spiritual Attraction

JJ presents a captivating scenario comparing two men’s relationships to highlight the balance between physical, emotional, and spiritual attraction. He underscores that while sexual attraction is significant, it shouldn't overshadow emotional and spiritual connections in a long-lasting marriage.

The Role of Sexual Attraction in Relationships

Sexual attraction gets its deserved spotlight as JJ argues it's non-negotiable for dating and marriage. However, he delineates between sexual relations and sexual pleasure, emphasizing that while attraction is crucial, pleasure alone isn’t sufficient to sustain the covenant of marriage.

Building Emotional and Spiritual Foundations

JJ discusses the paramount importance of emotional and spiritual aspects in marriage, suggesting that undue focus on physical attraction can lead to potential pitfalls in a relationship. He encourages open dialogue with friends and long-married couples for a well-rounded perspective.

Authentic Male Friendships

A heartwarming segment where JJ opens up about nurturing male friendships in Franklin, Tennessee. He shares the value of community, especially in smaller cities, linking it back to the broader theme of relational support systems.

Assessing Readiness for Marriage

JJ wraps up by advising the necessity of determining readiness for marriage before dating.  Leaning on biblical truths over personal opinions or experiences, he aims to ground listeners on solid theological foundations for their dating lives.

Real-Life Scenario: Doubts about Physical Attraction

To hit the point home, JJ recounts a personal story from the gym, where a man walked away from a proposal due to doubts about physical attraction. This anecdote serves as a powerful reminder of the significance of being truthful about one's feelings to prevent potential heartache.

The Singleness Season

Finally, JJ affirms that singleness is a precious time to foster intimacy with Jesus, understand the true meaning of marriage, and align one’s life desires with God’s will.

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JJ Tomlin

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JJ Tomlin is a missionary kid born in Belgium, originally from Tennessee, and currently residing in the OC. He currently works in Gaming/E-Commerce, enjoys watching his Tennessee Titans on Sundays with his Goldendoodle Teddy and loves working with Christian men to raise the bar in singleness and dating.


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