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Nothing Is Wasted In Your Story


"Davey & Kristi Blackburn

On today’s episode, we’re talking all about how to transform pain into purpose and how God can bring comfort to even the most painful moments. We welcome Davey and Kristi Blackburn to the podcast who run a ministry called “Nothing is Wasted”. Davey shares his story of how he lost his late wife to tragedy and overall how hope brought healing to Him. Both Kristi and Davey also share about how they met, how God brought them together, and the implications of dating after being widowed and dating as a single parent. 

Could you share a little bit about how your podcast came to be?

  • Davey and Kristi run a podcast and ministry called “Nothing is Wasted’ that began after Davey lost his first wife, Amanda, to a tragedy back in 2015 which involved her being shot and murdered while she was pregnant.
  • He shares about how God began to do a healing work in him and through the healing process, he felt called to start his ministry.
  • He learned that nothing is wasted with God and had a passion to share that message with others.
  • Romans 8:28, tells us that God works all things together for the good of all those who love him and upon this scripture, Davey stood on through his mourning and healing.
  • Davey’s late wife ran a business of restoring furniture. She saw potential in other people’s trash and put value into them. This concept of restoration is exactly what Davey felt the Lord was telling him as he mourned her death.
  • He started a podcast soon after and began interviewing people who went through tragedy and difficulties to create a space to talk about how God restores.

How did you guys meet?

  • Kristi was a single mom before she met Davey and felt like she was just stumbling through the dating scene.
  • As a single parent, she was concerned about constantly bringing boyfriends in and out of her life because now, she not only had to think about herself, but she also had to assess how dating affected her daughter. 
  • She shared her story of how she had to come to a true realization that she needed to first long for the Lord wholeheartedly before seeking to find a husband or father for her daughter.
  • Not soon after re-committing herself devoutly to the Lord, Kristi met Davey and he pursued her for about 6 months.
  • At the time that Davey met Kristi, he was a single pastor. He discusses how between his role in the church and the tragedy of his wife, there were difficult dynamics to navigate when it came to the world of dating.
  • Davey shares about how grief sometimes left him unsure if he even was ready to date as well as felt as though he was under a microscope being a pastor.
  • He shares about how he’ll never fully heal from the tragedy as it’s a continuous process of God putting the pieces back together, but he shared his story of meeting Kristi and how it felt like a moment of hope and heaven opening up its gates.
  • Kristi and Davey share their funny story of meeting at the gym for the first time and how they did a little “back and forth dance” for multiple months before they actually began talking or dating.
  • In a turn of events Davey found out that Kristi’s stepfather was actually the chaplain assigned to the 3 men who were convicted of murdering Davey’s late wife, Amanda.
“Life is a continual process. We’re in progress when it comes to our sanctification and our healing.” -Davey

What are some things that helped you to build trust in the midst of the dating process?

  • Kristi talks about having a full dependence on the Lord while still having an open hand.
  • Kristi shares her story of how she had to fully lean into the Lord to trust Him and how God used Davey to help heal her heart and brokenness for her past of divorce.
  • “The same thing that wounded you a lot of times God uses it to be the same thing that heals you.”
  • The biggest lesson that Kristin and Davey have learned in their journey is to be safe for each other to help support one another, have an open embrace for each other’s feelings, and overall be a representation of the comfort found in Christ.
“If you cannot have an open hand you’re not gonna be able to trust and depend on God’s next step for you.” - Kristi

Davey, you didn’t tell Kristi you loved her until dating her for 9 months. Could you 2 share a little bit more about why it was important for you two to take it slow?

  • I love you” is a big phrase and commitment for Davey and he wanted to make sure that he was committed to all the implications that came behind the phrase.
  • Kristi shares about some of her trauma and heartbreak when it came to the phrase “I love you” and how in turn made it difficult for her to speak about love, a future, or give herself to someone else.
  • For Kristi, waiting that long before Davey told him was one of the best gifts he could have given her because she knew at that point that she also loved.
“Love is not a feeling or an emotion. It’s a decision and it’s a decision for commitment”- Davey

What is your final nugget of dating advice/what advice would you give to someone who has trauma in their past when it comes to dating?

  • Davey saw his relationship with Kristi and asked himself “What can I give to her?” instead of “What can I get from her?”
  • Davey shares that when dealing with complicated dynamics in dating, there’s often not one right way to do it, but there are a few wrong ways to do it and his goal is to just do it in a way that lines up with God’s ways in scripture.
  • “God is not going to make a carbon copy of someone else’s story in your life. He wants to do something new in you” -Davey
  • God does give you the tools you need to date well and in a healthy way.
  • Stay anchored into Christ through your journey. Sometimes the path is scary, but remaining anchored in the word of God will keep you steady. 
  • Christ will mend your heart and guide your steps if you lean into Him and allow Him to.

Headshot of Davey and Kristi Blackburn

Davey & Kristi Blackburn

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Davey is a writer, speaker, pastor, and podcaster. He is the creator of the Pain to Purpose Course and author of Nothing is Wasted: A true story of hope, forgiveness, and finding purpose in pain (Releasing Jan 2022) and The Pain to Purpose 42-Day Devotional. Kristi is a Physician Assistant who became a stay at home mom and now online wellness coach. She is a co-author of root + marrow cookbook, a collection of allergy-friendly, whole-food, full-flavored recipes for busy families. Her passion is empowering people to take back their health using food as medicine by addressing how they interact with the eight dimensions of wellness. Davey and Kristi founded Nothing is Wasted Ministries to help people partner with God to take back their story. They live in Indianapolis, IN with their three kids, Natalia, Weston, and Cohen and their two dogs, Charlie and Henry.

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