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Not Having it All Together


Jordan Lee Dooley

Jordan Lee Dooley is the founder of the ministry SoulScripts as well as a nationally recognized author, blogger, and speaker. She has authored several Bible studies, including WholeHearted, BeLoved, and more. Jordan lives in Indiana with her husband, Matt and their dog, Hoosier. She and Matt co-authored a dating series called NaviDating, a devotional geared to helping young people navigate the world of dating. Jordan often speaks of overcoming our brokenness through the power of Jesus.

What is Soul Scripts?

Kait and Jordan start off with a discussion of SoulScripts and her life experiences. Jordan grew up as the oldest child in her family in Indiana where she spent time riding horses and living across the street from cornfields. During her time at Indiana University, she began to really relate to the women in her sorority as they came to her with their problems, their pain, and their broken pieces. Working with those young women at such a difficult and confusing time in life empowered Jordan to begin writing and studying scripture even more closely. Her writing eventually led to SoulScripts .She worked to teach her friends in the sorority to lead with a humble strength and to be empowered by their relationship with God. Jordan began to expand SoulScripts  to give women a space to gather and find ultimate strength.

Jordan and Matt’s Love Story

Jordan and Matt have a unique and beautiful story. They met while at Indiana University. Matt, originally from Arizona, received a football scholarship and Jordan had not planned to attend Indiana University but also was granted a scholarship. The night they met, both of them had other plans that fell through, so they talked online and found that they lived on the same street. Matt came over and the two of them talked for hours as they realized there were so many connections between them. The next day Matt actually claimed that he had met the girl he was going to marry! Of course, the rest is history…

Seek Counsel and Discuss Intentions:

Jordan and Matt dated for three years and kept the pace slow as they got to know one another. Although they kept a healthy pace in the relationship, Jordan says they both sought counsel from their parents by introducing each other to their parents pretty early on. Asking for feedback was a huge way that Matt and Jordan sought out Godly, objective counsel right from the start. The two prayerfully looked at the relationship through a truly Godly lens despite the influences of being in college!

Jordan feels strongly that all couples should set and discuss intentional goals at the beginning of a relationship rather than after spending a lot of time together. Being prayerful and knowing what you are both working toward is immensely helpful to reach those intentional goals as a couple, together. Because infatuation can blind us, it is easy to jump into a relationship (or even marriage!!) without common goals. To that point, Jordan admits that of course, the timeline will look different in every relationship.

Finally, Jordan encourages us to LISTEN to the wise counsel we have chosen rather than be clouded by infatuation. Our own selfish desires can often cloud our discernment but we must be open to receiving counsel that is Godly, wise, and objective.

How did Jordan and Matt set boundaries?

Jordan talks in detail about having those uncomfortable conversations about waiting until after marriage very soon into the relationship. She recommends to specifically have these conversations with one another ASAP so that each of you can define what is comfortable for you both.

At the beginning of the relationship, Jordan and Matt each got a jar with marbles and every time they made a step to help the other honor God’s word and commitment to waiting, they put a marble in the jar. The intention was to keep the focus on the end goal and seeing those marbles was a tangible way to see they were honoring God and themselves.

Our Brokenness Does Not Define Us!

Rather.... it helps us discover who we really are! Jordan struggled in college with body image, obsessive exercising, and extreme calorie restriction. Matt encouraged Jordan even in this time, and through this journey she found an incredible community and became deeply involved in different ministries on campus. Although at the time, Jordan felt she was kind of a mess and Matt had it “all together”, she soon realized that no perfect person exists and what is MOST important was that she truly had a heart for the Lord. For all of this this is key. We will never be perfect people but are we seeking Jesus and pursuing him through it all?

God teaches us that we can all be healed and our struggles can be overcome through a relationship with Him. Sometimes we depend on unhealthy relationships but when those relationships end, we find that we need to discover who we really are because we put so much of ourselves into something that wasn’t healthy.

Big Dealbreakers

If you are in an ungodly relationship, Jordan says its best to run! On the other hand, if one person is newer to the walk of faith, that isn’t a deal breaker so long as you both have a heart for Jesus and share a common end goal. JESUS is the reason for the season, friends!

The ladies discuss that even if you aren’t financially independent, that is not always reason for waiting for a relationship and marriage. As long as you both have faith in the Lord and know that you are working to walk in His word, even financial stress can be tackled together. Instead of making excuses because you aren’t financially comfortable, lean on the Lord! Matt and Jordan made it work even in college where they were

Change the Culture, Don’t Be Changed By The Culture!

In the dating world, there are so many temptations, mind games, and online options. Jordan encourages others to focus on what is important and stand in God. Her challenge for us is to be committed to being a light and think about what you are reflecting to others.

Other Resources:

Website:  SoulScripts

Instagram: Jordanleedooley, Soulscripts

Facebook: Jordan Lee Dooley

YouTube: Jordan Lee Dooley

Also mark your Calendar because Jordan's new book comes out in March 2019!

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