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How to Define the Relationship

with

Kait Warman & JJ Tomlin

Kait Warman & JJ Tomlin

Join Kait Warman and here Fiance JJ Tomlin on with the podcast today as they continue a series about their personal relationship! Today, they talk ALL about DTRs, or also known as, determining the relationship. They have a conversation on how to do it as well as they did it in their own relationship. 

Our VIDEO PODCAST is HERE! Check it out at https://youtu.be/P9s7fPQkAec

Let’s talk about DTR!

  • DTR means “determining the relationship” and is about moving from dating to a relationship!
  • DTR can also be a good “heart check” moment!
  • Kait and JJ discuss doing “check-in” if things are ever are unclear in a relationship
  • Having check-ins is a lot more efficient, safer, and a lot easier than making assumptions!
  • Kait and JJ discuss HOW to have a DTR conversation and how it should NOT be over text!
  • If you’re ever nervous about having this conversation, Always remember that there is power and beauty in vulnerability.
  • Whatever you do, be careful to not let your expectations control you or your mindset and feelings.

What is the difference between exclusivity and being in a relationship?

  • You can be exclusive and still in the dating phase! It just means that you are choosing to only go on dates with that one person before choosing to label it as a relationship!
  • Kait recommends being exclusive to one person after 60-90 days of knowing them and waiting until after that time frame to choose to be in a relationship.
  • A relationship is when you choose to get to know the person in a more intentional and serious format.
  • Being in a relationship means you are moving toward seeing if you want to get engaged to that person.
“When you go into dating, you have to operate on some kind of security and identity of who you are so that your happiness doesn’t depend on the results.” -JJ Tomlin

How do you know when you are ready to commit?

  • Before you jump into a relationship, involve your “Board of Advisors” to meet the other person. 
  • A “Board of Advisors” are people in your inner circle who will be honest with you! We all have blindspots and need people in our life.
  • Ask yourself why you value this person and if you can see it going further with them.
  • “The reason you want to be in a relationship should be a deeper, harder look at the person’s character.”- Kait Warman
  • You should also ask yourself if they spiritually challenge you or if you are simply pastoring them. You want to enter a relationship with someone who will walk a healthy faith journey alongside you.
  • Ask yourself “do they encourage and build you up or just cut you down with jokes”.
“You can never make a person change and you should not date potential.”- Kait Warman

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Kait Warman

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Kait Warman is a best-selling author, speaker, popular relationship coach, and the founder of Heart of Dating. She helps thousands of men and women on their journeys through the conversations on the Heart of Dating Podcast, which launched in 2018. 

Through her ministry, Kait’s mission is to empower both men and women to have the courage to own their story, walk in victory, thrive with purpose, and discover clarity and vision in their life and relationships. In her new book, Thank You for Rejecting Me: Transform Pain into Purpose and Learn to Fight for Yourself, Kait vulnerably shares how she grew through her deepest, darkest rejections and offers readers the tools to heal from the past, take back their power, and walk in strength, victory, and love into their future. Kait currently lives in the Los Angeles area and loves sunshine, walks, Jesus, and lip syncing to Celine Dion.

JJ Tomlin

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JJ Tomlin is a missionary kid born in Belgium, originally from Tennessee, and currently residing in the OC. He currently works in Gaming/E-Commerce, enjoys watching his Tennessee Titans on Sundays with his Goldendoodle Teddy and loves working with Christian men to raise the bar in singleness and dating.


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