How to Wait Well

Thank you!

Oops! Something went wrong.

CONFERENCE Podcast HODC SCHOOL OF DATING Patreon blog Book events

0

How to Wait Well

with

Kait Tomlin

How do you wait well in singleness?

This concept of waiting is a tough one, especially for Christian singles who have a DEEP desire to be in a relationship. When we’re in a waiting season, we often assume that we are in some kind of boring waiting room or holding pattern to get to another, more exciting place in our life… Another destination where everything will just be… well, better. But can I be honest with you for a second? That couldn’t be farther from the truth. This type of mindset, mindsets like “I deserve THIS” or "I HAVE TO FIND SOMEONE" as it relates to the relationship you’ll have or the kind of person you’ll end up with, in a season of waiting can steal your joy and rob you of what God is intending for you during this time.

Skip Ahead

In This Episode

There are 2 mindsets of waiting in dating and singleness:

Singleness feels like the plague. You date because you feel like you have to in order to get to your next destination in life. It feels as though you just can’t do another year single and the only thing you want is to find someone, like ASAP!
Singleness feels FULL, purposeful and so rich. You CHOOSE to date because you DO desire to be in a relationship/get married, BUT that’s not the end all be all. You have entirely released expectations and you’re fully trusting in the Lord’s plan and His timing. Above all, you are resolved to not FORCE relationships to happen just to get to the next thing.

How does my mindset affect my singleness and dating life?

I think you can clearly see which mindset you should be adopting in your singleness. The problem with the first mindset is that your joy, contentment, and whole well-being are almost fully dependent on the success of your dating life… woof, this is one of the WORST places you could ever depend on! Who’s with me??!! And this is a note for my ladies- you can sit there and absolutely loathe dating and men in general OR you can choose to live a life of abundance and free from worry about your dating future. I think I’d take the second option if I were you!

I encourage you to take some time to answer this question… Who’s timeline are you living in? Yours or God’s? Be honest…

How can I shift my mindset?

What does it mean to have the desires of our hearts given to us? If you truly delight in the Lord as it says in Pslam 37:4, your desires should be GODLY desires. Desires that align with HIS plan for your life, not just yours. Spiritual desires are to honor God and to find contentment in Him no matter what, to delight in Him, and do what He calls on us to do. When we submit our fleshly desires to our SPIRITUAL desires, it changes EVERYTHING. When you choose to finally embrace the humility of accepting God’s desires for your life over your own, you can fully step into your season of waiting with hope and abundance.

Common phrases that keep us from fully accepting this spiritually healthy mindset are…

‍

“I am just WAITING to find the one”

‍

“If that is your desire GOD will provide it”

‍

“You deserve THIS” (as in marriage)

“I deserve THIS” (as in marriage)

‍

I want to remind you that God’s goodness isn’t dependent on your relationship status or your answered prayers or blessings. He is good ALL the time, NO MATTER WHAT! When we’re certain of this, we can be certain that whatever season we’re in, it’s exactly where we are supposed to be.

Here are 5 things you can do to get started on this journey of waiting well…

Invite the Lord into every area of your single and dating life.
Get really clear on your non-negotiables and your core values. Don’t forget that we have a FREE guide to help you with this!
Find a good Godly community that is deep and rich, where you can fully be yourself in this season.
Get outside of yourself by seeking your deep Kingdom purpose and don’t be afraid to start fiercely pursuing it, even solo.
Fill your life with things that you love. Travel on a whim, work towards healing in therapy, go after a new goal, pick up a hobby, and the list goes on. Just get out there and do YOU!

If you want practical and biblical advice on this, make sure you listen to episode 169 of the podcast where JJ & I talk allll about waiting WELL. This is one of our top episodes and rightfully so!

And if you’re ready to start shifting your mindset when it comes to singleness and dating, make sure you take a look at some of those resources I mentioned above like our FREE guides on our website! They've helped thousands of singles transform their dating life and I know they'll help you too!