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Boundaries & Pace

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Kait Warman & JJ Tomlin

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Kait Warman is back with her fiance, JJ Tomlin, as they continue to lead conversations on lessons they’ve learned within their own dating relationship. Today, they discuss their personal experience with setting a pace for their relationship and having healthy boundaries.

Our VIDEO PODCAST is HERE! Check it out at https://youtu.be/qBP1gn7SkGY

Do you think Christians commit to dating far too early?

  • Kait thinks that Christians committing to dating far too early is actually an unwise move.
  • By default, Christians tend to commit too fast because people are putting a lot of pressure on them and the overall church culture has a focus on marriage.
  • It is our responsibility to guard our hearts by not committing too early before we actually know someone.
  • Kait and JJ believe the pace should be about  90 days of getting to know someone better before being in a relationship with them.
  • If you’re a person who does not commit to anybody, this is the time to challenge yourself to be more vulnerable and commit to other people.
  • A hyper-emotional attachment can cause you to overlook red flags.
Committing to dating too early develops a hyper-emotional attachment with someone and it disconnects your head and your heart, which makes you lead with just your heart.-Kait Warman

Let’s talk about boundaries!

  • If you want to have a healthy pace, this includes having healthy boundaries.
  • You need to have boundaries in place to be able to see someone through time.
  • Boundaries are vital for your internal safety and for the health of your relationship.
“When you can start to emotionally and spiritually get attracted to a woman, the physical becomes the least important thing” -JJ Tomlin

What are the three kinds of boundaries?

  • Emotional Boundaries - This is more about vulnerability and safety. 
  • Physical Boundaries - This needs to come from the place of holdness, health, and healing.
  • Spiritual Boundaries - Spiritual intimacy can take much of a bond as other intimacies.
“Commitment should come from after a healthy amount of knowing, trusting and relying on someone.” - Kait

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Kait Warman

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Kait Warman is a best-selling author, speaker, popular relationship coach, and the founder of Heart of Dating. She helps thousands of men and women on their journeys through the conversations on the Heart of Dating Podcast, which launched in 2018. 

Through her ministry, Kait’s mission is to empower both men and women to have the courage to own their story, walk in victory, thrive with purpose, and discover clarity and vision in their life and relationships. In her new book, Thank You for Rejecting Me: Transform Pain into Purpose and Learn to Fight for Yourself, Kait vulnerably shares how she grew through her deepest, darkest rejections and offers readers the tools to heal from the past, take back their power, and walk in strength, victory, and love into their future. Kait currently lives in the Los Angeles area and loves sunshine, walks, Jesus, and lip syncing to Celine Dion.

JJ Tomlin

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JJ Tomlin is a missionary kid born in Belgium, originally from Tennessee, and currently residing in the OC. He currently works in Gaming/E-Commerce, enjoys watching his Tennessee Titans on Sundays with his Goldendoodle Teddy and loves working with Christian men to raise the bar in singleness and dating.


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