While some might dream of being called a “walking green flag,” intentional romanticism brings more than just impressive status. As Kait shares, intentional romantics are deep thinkers who honor connection, prioritize their walk with God, and approach dating for long-term partnership—not just fun or angst.

These folks are all about:

• Emotional depth and self-awareness
• Healthy, secure attachment styles
• Balanced pacing in relationships (not rushing, not dragging their feet)
• A commitment to honest, direct communication—even when conflict arises
• The ability to walk away when something doesn’t align, because their security isn’t wrapped up in relationship status

This balance creates a sense of peace—even bliss—in dating. JJ points out, sometimes the intentional romantic’s journey is so secure, dating becomes the subplot of their life, while growth and purpose take center stage.

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Here’s where it gets real: Being intentional doesn’t mean you’re immune to pitfalls. In fact, all that emotional muscle can sometimes turn against you. JJ and Kait outlined some key areas where intentional romantics can struggle:

1. Overextending in Relationships:
When you’re used to carrying the weight of “healthy,” it’s easy to start carrying the relationship. You might be mentoring instead of dating, or constantly “helping” your partner grow.

2. Impossible Standards:
High standards are great until they become impossible. The intentional romantic can fall into the trap of demanding that their partner match them in every way, rather than seeking “perfectible” over “perfect.” As Kait admits, she had to challenge herself in her own relationship to see strengths that didn’t look exactly like her own.

3. Overly Discerning or Quick to Dismiss:
That superpower of discernment? If unchecked, it becomes nitpicking or running away after every red flag—sometimes before really knowing someone’s heart.

4. Burnout From Overinvestment:
When you’re all-in, all the time—even early on—it’s easy to get emotionally exhausted. Kait’s tip: borrow a little “Wanderer” energy and keep those first few dates light. Resist the urge to bring roses and handwritten letters to every coffee meet-up!

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Pride can creep in the moment you think you’ve “arrived.” JJ reminds us of Proverbs 26:12: “Do you see the man who is wise in his own eyes? There’s more hope for a fool than for him.” Oof, right? The healthiest intentional romantic stays teachable, humble, and aware of ongoing growth areas. Remember: attachment style isn’t static, and everyone has opportunities for healing.

The message? Healthy dating isn’t about perfection—it’s about being real, balanced, and open to change. Your greatest asset isn’t securing a relationship, but staying secure in yourself and in Christ, whether single, dating, or married.

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For all you walking green flags out there—keep going! Keep leaning into growth, challenge, and humility. Make space for different strengths, hold your standards, but keep your heart soft. And remember: Your love story is beautiful, but it isn’t your whole story.

Craving more wisdom? Check out our dating programs at joinbasicsofdating.com and joinschoolofdating.com, or browse our YouTube playlist this summer while the pod takes a break.

We love you, Heart of Dating fam. Whether you’re a proud Intentional Romantic or discovering your style, you’re in good company. Stay intentional, stay humble, and keep that green flag waving!

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P.S. Missed the quiz? Take it for free at heartofdating.com/quiz and share your results with us!

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