Sound familiar? That’s because FOBO (“Fear of a Better Option”) is practically the Wanderer’s middle name. The thought process is: “Saying yes to THIS person means I might miss out on someone better around the corner.” It shows up everywhere—from dodging commitment to saying “maybe” to Friday night plans just in case something more exciting pops up.

While the Wanderer loves connection and those initial sparks, as soon as things start getting real—expectations, deeper vulnerability, emotional needs—that’s when the pullback happens. You might hear things like “I’m not ready for something serious,” or “Let’s just see where it goes.” And before you know it, someone’s getting ghosted.

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Here’s where things get sneaky: Wanderers seem emotionally intelligent. They’re curious, warm, inquisitive, and not afraid of a good conversation. But showing vulnerability isn’t the same as following through—and that’s the difference between being emotionally intelligent and being emotionally healthy.

Wanderers can open up, but the real challenge is what happens when the “honeymoon phase” fades and deeper work starts. Kait reminds us: emotionally healthy people don’t just talk about feelings; they work through them and stay present even when things get hard. Real love doesn’t suffocate or trap; it will stretch and grow you in ways that only commitment can bring.

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If you’re a hopeless romantic or a chronic overthinker, dating a Wanderer can be a wild ride (and not always in a good way). Hopeless romantics crave intensity, the Wanderer offers ambiguity. Overthinkers want certainty, the Wanderer seeks freedom. Early on it feels magical and exciting—then you’re left spinning, wondering what changed.

For all my hopeless romantics, it’s not your imagination: Wanderers are often flirty (even if they claim it’s just being friendly!), and they're drawn to the chase more than the catch. When needs start showing up—yours OR theirs—the discomfort sets in.

Let’s keep it real. Commitment IS healthy, and relationships require choosing. Kait’s challenge to her younger self—and to every Wanderer in the dating scene—is this: You don’t have to settle, but you do have to choose. If you’re always looking for the next thrill, you might be missing true growth and deep intimacy right in front of you.

Wanderers: It’s time to move from fantasy to reality. Stop juggling options and start practicing intentionality. Date one person at a time, lean in when things get real, and resist the urge to bail at the first sign of discomfort.

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JJ drops a truth bomb: “The Enemy thrives in ambiguity.” God calls us to clarity. Leaving people confused, leading them on, or avoiding DTRs isn’t just unkind—it’s unloving. But here’s the good news: your ability to connect quickly is a GIFT. When stewarded with purpose and vision, it can build the Kingdom in powerful ways… if you choose to use it well.

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No shame, fam. God made you vibrant and charming for a reason. But the call is to steward that charisma for deep, intentional relationships. Take it low and slow. Be present, be honest, and focus on intentionality—especially in your dating life.

If you know you need help breaking free of wandering ways, check out the HOD resources: the Basics of Dating or the School of Dating mentorship. You don’t have to stay stuck in ambiguity. Healthy, committed love really is possible for you!

Go be the intentional you, Wanderer. We’re rooting for you!

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