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Like Attracts Like: Reclaiming Your Worth


Karrie Scott Garcia

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Today on the Heart of Dating we’re so excited to have Karrie Garcia with us. She’s a unique and dynamic woman with a powerful story; one that we’ll all be able to relate to and learn from! She's a prominent voice for singles and likes to consider herself a relationship “rescuer”.  On today’s episode, she unpacks the concept of “like attracts like” and why understanding your worth is critical in dating. 

What are you passionate about?

  • Karrie is dedicated to studying the  trauma narrative and “story coaching” others.
  • She helps people reveal hidden harm and trauma in their stories and in doing so, she can often help people find God’s hand (even in the midst of the trauma they’ve been through)
  • She’s overall passionate about helping others find where the enemy latches so that they can find healing and TRULY begin to live out their stories!

Can you share a little bit about your dating history?

  • Karrie talks about how she viewed herself affected the kind of people that she dated and she saw herself as a “rescuer” and therefore she developed a deep-seated desire to rescue and fix the people that she dated.  
  • She was engaged 5 times and married twice. Overall, she dated men that were clearly not healthy for her but she would take these relationships all the way even to marriage where they would then fall apart.

What did you learn ultimately from being a rescuer?

  • Karrie learned that it was primarily a coping mechanism that allowed her to focus on the other person so that she would never have to really look at herself.  
  • She found that deep down inside she knew she needed a hero but could not stand being weak so if she could be strong for someone else it would also make her strong for herself. .
  • She found that she never truly became the hero that her partner needed and at the same time she never found the rescue that she needed.
  • Kait and Karrie discussed the elements of codependency prominent in being addicted to wanting to rescue or save a person within a relationship.

Please expound on “like attracts like” in dating?

  • Karrie explains that you attract who you are and what you truly hold as a value inwardly is what you seek in others in a relationship.   
  • If you want freedom and if you want healthy relationships then you have to look inward and start to heal what has been broken so that you have these items in you
  • Relationships hit the core stories of our lives and they start to replay what we lived in our early formative years.

“If there’s anyone harming you, You DO have the authority, power, and ability to remove yourself.”

Could you explain the HECK NO MOMENT that someone may have in their broken worthiness?

  • Karrie explains the steps it takes to get to the point of wanting to realize your brokenness and change. These steps include looking into the data and walking through the grieving process with others surrounding you and supporting you.
  • We were built for community and weren’t meant to walk the journey alone.
  • What is broken in a relationship must be healed in a relationship and we need somebody who’s gonna hold and witness our pain.
  • If you want to be free, You first have to take the time to figure out for yourself what that freedom looks like for you.
  • Remember, there is no Mr. Right. there is only YOU being right with God.
“The particularities of your pain produce the particularities of your actual calling and vocation on this planet.”

What are some things you’d suggest to start down the road to healing?

  • We cannot bypass our story of healing with good attitudes and feelings or just good words and silver linings. We have to go through a process.
  • It is not until you have a witness to your pain and a witness to your story that someone allows you the space to grieve so that then you can move towards places of restoration, repentance, and forgiveness.
  • What was broken in your family of origin can actually begin to be healed in the family of God.
  • You have to face the truth of what you experienced and look at what you believe is not true.
“Resurrection does not come through bypassing what needs to be grieved, named, or addressed.”

What is your final nugget of dating advice?

  • “Work on your story, allow your story to be healed. There is no Mr. Right, there is exactly who’s gonna come into your life because you have invested the time to become exactly who God created you to be.”
  • “Freedom is the courageous act of loving who you are created to be.”
  • “You are worthy of the work that needs to be put in and nothing tastes as good as freedom.”

Headshot of Karrie Scott Garcia

Karrie Scott Garcia

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As a pastor, life coach, author and CEO, Karrie Garcia has been inspiring change in others by

boldly sharing her journey to freedom. Karrie is not afraid to wade through deep waters,

because she has seen firsthand how God’s true redemptive purpose for our lives does not begin

once we’re free from pain, rather it stems directly out of that pain. 

Today, Karrie is on a mission to redefine freedom for others through her nonprofit, Freedom

Movement. Since 2014, she has fostered an environment at Freedom Movement where anyone

can begin to process and heal, whether they’re taking their first or their last step on the road to

freedom through the organization’s tours, events, workshops and one-on-one coaching. 

Karrie is also the author of The Exchange, an interactive nine-week course through which she

guides individuals and groups from hurting to hope with readings, videos and reflections.

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Website IconPodcast Mic IconInstagram IconFacebook IconLinkedIn IconTick Tok IconTwitter IconYoutube IconCustom Icon

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