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Mini Man-sode 13: Four Signs That You’re Not Ready to Date, My Brother Part 2

with

JJ Tomlin

JJ talks through part two of signs you’re not ready to date, including dating within community, with wise counsel, without pride, and what your foundation of dating is. 

Community, Wise Counsel and Pride

  • 1 peter 5:5” Likewise, you who are younger, be subject to the elders. Clothe yourselves, all of you, with humility toward one another, for “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.”
  • Don’t date in a silo. 
  • Do not go out there and date with a loose group of guys who care about you but do not follow up.
  • Submit yourselves to authority. 
  • Don’t let pride dictate the way you date. 

A foundation for dating, relationships and marriage..

  • Have you read about marriage? The true, biblical purpose of it?
  • Do you know what the point of dating, relationship and marriage is for?
  • Have you read God’s word for his description of marriage? Have you read meaning of marraige? Have you read you and me together forever? 
  • What preparation have you done to date well? To be in relationship well? To marry well? 
  • Go into dating, relationship, and marriage with a completely blank whiteboard and build the foundation from the bible, from wonderful authors who have more experience and wisdom.
  • Surrender the pride of knowing everything and humbly approach each stage with absolute humility. 

Are you dating out out deficiency? A lack of?

  • If you are dating out of a need, not desire, a need for intimacy, a need for a spouse, a need to be completed, a need to be happy, you will never be satisfied.
  • More importantly you are going to cause damage to yourself, the kingdom and others.
  • Never date out of a need, only out of desire. A submitted desire, submitted to Jesus, submitted to authority, submitted to counsel.
  • Bring others in to help check your blindspots.
  • Sidenote: if you are dating out of emotional devoid, need for intimacy, you are probably struggling with porn, masturbation, boredom, checking out, numbing with movies, fun and thrills.

Date out of an absolute foundation of this..

  • "My wife is not made for me. She was made for God and to have a relationship with HIm. I was not made for my wife. She's not there to complete me. I was made to have a relationship with God.”
  • “God, I am so satisfied with you that if I never marry, I will be disappointed but I completely surrender to you. You are the desire of my heart, your desires are my desires. I recognize that you are the only one who satisfies my soul, not dating. Lead me in dating to glorify you in every way possible, let me an agent of your kindness and grace even in dating!”

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JJ Tomlin

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JJ Tomlin is a missionary kid born in Belgium, originally from Tennessee, and currently residing in the OC. He currently works in Gaming/E-Commerce, enjoys watching his Tennessee Titans on Sundays with his Goldendoodle Teddy and loves working with Christian men to raise the bar in singleness and dating.


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