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Men's Minisodes 04: So You Think You Want to Date an Older Woman

with

JJ Tomlin

Join JJ for another men’s minisode as he addresses the hot topic of dating an older woman and what that ACTUALLY looks like. 

Age is not an indicator, but it can be a major plus.

  • There are younger women who are emotionally incredibly mature, great character, awesome potential spouses 
  • There are older women who are emotionally are incredibly mature, great character, awesome potential spouses 
  • So age is not an indicator… it’s not like all the unworthy candidates are not picked and the older you get the less mature, worse candidate there is.. 
  • The major plus… ? LIFE EXPERIENCE. 
  • Personally, I actually preferred dating somewhat older women because especially spiritually I found them to be more mature and on a mission.
  • For me, I felt like in my experience the longer they had time to experience joys and adversity of life, the more it sharpened their faith and that was somebody I desired to partner and pursue. This obviously does not speak for all, but this historically was my experience. 

Life Desires

  • If you are 25 and she is 30.. Guess what, your ideal friday night and her ideal friday night will look starkly different.. From your activity with friends to family to dates.
  • If you are 30 and she is 35.. Guess what, your ideal saturday and her ideal saturday will look starkly different.. From your activity with friends to family to dates.. To downtime.
  • If you are 35 and she is 40.. It will look different.
  • The reality is that if you do decide to date older, her entire lifestyle, her friend group, their conversations, their struggles, their priorities, their ideas of fun, their spending levels.. It will 99% of the time look very different. 
  • If you dont believe me.. How does your lifestyle, interests, conversations, ideas of fun look vs 3 years ago? 5 years ago? Your maturity - how does that look? 

Get Ready to Compromise

  • What nobody likes to address and what none of your peers your age will likely understand is that your life.. Shall it continue in dating and relationship with the older partner.. Will conform, will change.
  • Basically, it will likely accelerate to an ideal balance between your age with some changes to accommodate her life and her flexibly changing to yours.

Get Ready to Level Up

  • Lets call it what it is. If you want to do date older, you have to be OLDER. You accelerate from your age in your emotional, spiritual and intelletual maturity level, interests, and capacity. Nobody likes to acknowledge this practical reality but they literally have valuable years of experience ahead of you, and you want to lead?! 
  • If you want to lead. You are going to have to become a man worth following and QUICK or else this relationship won’t work and she is going to be leading you. 

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JJ Tomlin

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JJ Tomlin is a missionary kid born in Belgium, originally from Tennessee, and currently residing in the OC. He currently works in Gaming/E-Commerce, enjoys watching his Tennessee Titans on Sundays with his Goldendoodle Teddy and loves working with Christian men to raise the bar in singleness and dating.


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