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How to Pursue a Woman

with

Kait Warman & JJ Tomlin

Headshot of Kait Warman and JJ Tomlin

Downtown the FREE Guide for this episode 'Are You Ready To Meet Your Person?' from our friend Stephanie May Wilson! stephaniemaywilson.com/hod

For a man, my reaction to hearing this would be a few things as obviously at this point I am CHALLENGED.

  • Disproving - how can i justify why this guy is doing this stuff and why it does not apply to me 
  • Impressed but “it’s not me”
  • Accepting the challenge!

The number one MOST important ingredient about successfully pursuing a woman is this…It is NOT about YOU.

  • True thoughtfulness and giving is rooted in absolute focus on the other, any shred of “me” turns the act into about you and her, not true pursuit of her!! 
  • It is not about securing a second date! A successful date is a date that honors her. 
  • You gotta WORK for it.. The reality is that pursuit takes WORK and EFFORT.. And the sooner we EMBRACE this, the sooner we are going to LEVEL UP as a man in the dating game.  

Here are the steps to a GREAT DATE!

  • Step #1 -call it a  DATE and not HANG OUT
  • Step #2 - Date is communicated at least 24 hours in advance, NOT the morning of! 
  • Step #3 - Deliver - be thoughtful and focused on her! 
  • Step #4 - Own the follow up and direction!! 

Challenge for MEN

  • No matter how great you THINK you are at dating.. I am challenging you to level up!

Now for the ladies - we’re always hearing - where are all the great christian men who date like this?

  • They exist… you have to believe that they exist! You have to place yourself in circles and communities where these men exist! 
  • The reality is that these men do exist, they just have to grow into some of this behavior. 
  • If love and marriage are as difficult as hitting a fastball in the big leagues, it is definitely NOT going to come naturally except to those few freak athletes.. Meaning for the rest of us common men we have to  get in the gym, the batting cage, we have to practice practice practice to get our butts into shape!!

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Kait Warman

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Kait Warman is a best-selling author, speaker, popular relationship coach, and the founder of Heart of Dating. She helps thousands of men and women on their journeys through the conversations on the Heart of Dating Podcast, which launched in 2018. 

Through her ministry, Kait’s mission is to empower both men and women to have the courage to own their story, walk in victory, thrive with purpose, and discover clarity and vision in their life and relationships. In her new book, Thank You for Rejecting Me: Transform Pain into Purpose and Learn to Fight for Yourself, Kait vulnerably shares how she grew through her deepest, darkest rejections and offers readers the tools to heal from the past, take back their power, and walk in strength, victory, and love into their future. Kait currently lives in the Los Angeles area and loves sunshine, walks, Jesus, and lip syncing to Celine Dion.

JJ Tomlin

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JJ Tomlin is a missionary kid born in Belgium, originally from Tennessee, and currently residing in the OC. He currently works in Gaming/E-Commerce, enjoys watching his Tennessee Titans on Sundays with his Goldendoodle Teddy and loves working with Christian men to raise the bar in singleness and dating.


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