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Dating with Depression and Anxiety

with

Deb Fileta

As we round out our series on mental health, we want to share with you a brand new special episode as Kait Warman brings our good friend Deb Fileta BACK to the show!

Debra Fileta is a Licensed Professional Counselor, relationship expert, national speaker, and the author of True Love Dates, Choosing Marriage, and Love in Every Season. Debra is also the creator of the popular relationship advice blog, www.TrueLoveDates.com as well as the Love + Relationships Podcast, reaching millions of people with the message of healthy relationships. You may also recognize her voice from her 200+ articles published across the internet.

In this special episode, Deb talks about her book, Are You Really Okay? And how this was aimed to really ask her readers to look back and do a self check on how they REALLY are doing. Deb believes that anxiety and depression aren't just caused by bad things but potentially can be caused by  good things as well! Anxiety and depression can mask itself as many things but if this weed doesn’t get rooted out, it will start creeping and growing into the relationships around us.

Why do you think emotional health can be underrated in the church? Specifically, why do you think it especially happens in ministry when people are often prone to burnout?

  • The people who are pouring out are the people who need to be poured into the most.
  • Being okay is something that we need to pursue every single day.
  • Deb tells us to take time to fill up and take care of your emotional and spiritual health.
  • Good things can also potentially bring pressure and stress just as much as bad things can.

What are some signs and symptoms that someone may be depressed or dealing with anxiety?

  • Sometimes symptoms can be psychosomatic which are caused by emotional stress.
  • Obsessively thinking and worrying about different aspects of your life could be a symptom of anxiety.
  • Just a few symptoms consists of fatigue, headaches, digestive problems, apathy, irritability, and agitation.
  • Some of these things might start reflecting when one person is in a relationship.
  • 2 weeks of continuous symptoms could lead one to be diagnosed as clinically depressed.

How can depression and anxiety impact a relationship?

  • Personal issues can potentially be an issue within a relationship.
  • Your relationships are sometimes a reflection of your own personal health.
  • Remember that healthy people make healthy relationships.

If n you are dating with depression and anxiety, what are some things that somebody can do to move towards help and healing? Is there some sort of balance?

  • Deb tells us to be intentional with the process of healing.
  • Time doesn’t always heal all wounds. Sometimes, it aggravates it more if it’s not being dealt with.
  • Be deliberate about your decision to move towards healing.
  • She talks about starting with internal work and recommends a professional counselor that could help entangle all of these emotions.
  • Give yourself a season of therapy and a season of healing.
  • Treat your emotional and mental injuries as urgent as your physical ones.

What is your final nugget of dating advice?

  • To change the narrative of your relationships, you’ve got to be healthy on your own first.
  • When you’re healthy, it impacts ALL the relationships around you.
  • Let your relationships reflect the level of your personal health.

Deb Fileta

Deb Fileta

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Debra Fileta is a Licensed Professional Counselor, relationship expert, national speaker, and the author of True Love Dates, Choosing Marriage, and Love in Every Season. Debra is also the creator of the popular relationship advice blog, www.TrueLoveDates.com as well as the Love + Relationships Podcast, reaching millions of people with the message of healthy relationships. You may also recognize her voice from her 200+ articles published across the internet.

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