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Women Tell All: Casual Dating, Dating Multiple People at Once, and Dating from Abundance

with

Kait Warman

This week, Kait is joined by her FAVORITE single ladies, Carrie Lloyd (single in her 40's) and Kat Harris (single in her mid 30's)!

We are doing a WOMEN TELL ALL!!!! 

Kat Harris and Carrie Lloyd are both dear friends of Kait who have also written books and lead podcasts and spoiler alert... have TONS of dating experience. The journey of dating as a Christian is not lost of any one of us.

We decided to team up to do a fun roundtable "Women Tell All": a 3- part-episode answering some of your hottest questions...

Since each of us ladies have podcasts, we will each be answering HOT TOPIC questions on each of our podcasts.

Today you can catch the episode on Heart of Dating about Casual Dating, Dating Multiple People at Once, and Dating from Abundance.

Then you can hop over to Carrie's podcast, the Carrie On podcast, where we are talking about dating later in life, dealing with disappointment, as well as what it’s like to date as a dating coach.

Then last but not least we have the STELLAR Kat Harris who is no surprise guest for you all. She is one of Kait's best friends and has her own podcast called The Refined Woman. On her show we talked about the infamous question “where are all the Christian men". Who has said that (be honest)? Guilty? I know...

Well, we tackled more than you might imagine…. Spoiler alert: that conversation was NOT a guy bashing episode. You're going to love it...

But let's get into today's Women Tell All conversation, shall we?

Carrie could you tell us about your new book?

  • Carrie released a book titled Prude: Misconceptions of a Neo-Virgin
  • She talks about her journey of coming back to abstinence after years of being an atheist

Kat, could you talk about your upcoming book Sexless in the City?

  • It’s about Kat growing up in an evangelical, bible belt environment
  • She talks about how she moved to NYC and really challenged those thoughts about purity and sexuality when it came to the bible and she wanted to search for a healthy sexual ethic when it came to her values and scripture that is not rooted in shame.

Kait talks about how she’s been practicing “Non-exclusivity” in dating. She asks the thoughts of Kat and Carrie on this:

  • Carrie talks about how she’s been trying to date with a mindset of “abundance” rather than scarcity
  • Kat questions why we’ve decided “casual dating” is bad and challenges to change the definition of it.
  • Kat talks about how some things are not inherently bad or wrong, and we need to put more weight on heart posture
  • We, as Christians, assume way too much in Christian dating.
  • Casual dating is not the same as “disposable dating” which is just looking to getting our needs met.
  •  Kat talks about how christians often judge others for passing physical boundaries, yet we’re very good at pushing emotional and spiritual boundaries

Carries asks Kait what she’s learning in taking on a new approach of “non-exclusivity” in Christian dating.

  • Kait found that she’s seen her emotional levels when it comes to dating has been a bit more balanced
  • When youre taking the pressure off, you can enjoy that person more, learn about what they bring to the table, and be more aware of what YOU bring to the table.

What are some things someone could do to explore non-exclusivity? 

  • Trust your gut and listen to your body and listen to your intuition. If something is bringing up a red flag for you, write it down and make note of it.
  • Give grace to yourself in knowing it won’t always be perfect.
  • Be curious when it comes to dating.
  • Pace yourself when it comes to dating and give yourself space to get to know someone over the long haul
  • Check that you feel safe in yourself so you know how you can communicate better with other people

Catch the next episode on Carrie Lloyd's podcast HERE

Catch the next final on Kat Harris's podcast HERE

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Kait Warman

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