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Purity Culture and Healing Sexual Shame

with

Cait & Cole Zick

Heart of Dating is thrilled to welcome Cole and Caitlin Zick of Moral Revolution to Heart of Dating today!

Cole and Caitlin Zick have been married and in ministry together for fifteen years. They currently serve as the directors of Moral Revolution in Redding, California. Before moving to Redding, they led the youth ministry at Capital Christian Center in Sacramento. In 2014, they launched My City Conference, a youth and young adult conference focused on unity in the Sacramento region. They have a deep desire to see the church thriving and working together to be effective. As a couple, they have made sexuality a key focus of their ministry as they share their story very openly and vulnerably hoping to see others find freedom through it. They created four children in five years, which gives insight into their love for chaos.

On today's episode, Caitlin, Cole, and Kait discuss sexual shame and how toxic purity culture has aided in that. They also discuss having a healthy perception of sex and purity.

Could you tell us about the start of Moral Revolution?

  • Moral Revolution was actually started by Chris Valentin (originally names sexual revolution)
  • The focus is telling the world a better story about sex
  • Create teaching about God’s design for sex 

In TYFRM I wrote a chapter titled “Never Have I Ever” talked about the toxic purity culture and the shame of sexual sin in the church. Do you believe we put that sin on a pedestal vs. other sin? What is problematic about the purity culture?

  • Cole talks about how he was actually raised up in a home with where his parents truly focused on his relationship with God first before the “rules of it”.
  • It has hindered from so many seeing sex for what God has designed it to be and only view sex for how Christians have screwed it or the world has.
  • Purity culture has labeled sex as bad and that in itself is problematic.
  • Virginity is not purity, it’s a fruit of purity.
  • We’re meant to celebrate sex for what God intended it for.
  • “In our fight against legalism, which we do need to find, we cannot fight against obedience"
  • “Whenever you’re leading out the demonic realm instead of the fruit of the spirit, the results are going to end in shame” -Cole Zick
  • Caitlin talked about her story and also about when you should be ready to share with the person you’re dating about your past

What would you tell someone who is struggling with sexual shame?

  • Caitlin talks about her story and how she felt “taunted” by shameful moments of her past. 
  • She talks about the importance of bringing it into the light. 
  • James 5:16, NIV: "Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed.

What is your final nugget of dating advice:

  • It’s worth it to make god the number one priority in your dating life
  • You have to uproot the lies and pain from your past so you can be a healthy, whole person. You have to know yourself the way God knows you.

Follow Moral Revolution on Instagram HERE

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