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How to Balance the Feminine and Masculine

with

Arielle Estoria

Heart of Dating is excited to bring you an episode on a topic that RARELY get's discussed in the Christian culture: the balance of feminine and masculine energies! Kait welcomed the lovely Arielle Estoria on the podcast for this topic

Arielle Estoria is a Spoken Word Poet, Author, Speaker, Model and Actress. Her motto of "Words not for the ears but for the soul" stems from her dedication to remind her audience that words are meant to be felt and not just heard. Arielle’s first EP, a collection of music and poetry called Symphony of a Lioness is now available on iTunes or Apple Music. She is Co-author of two self published collections of poetry: Vagabonds and Zealots (2014) and Write Bloody Spill Pretty (2017) which can both be found on Amazon.com.  She is made of sass and good intentions, has a deep love for car karaoke, brunch and flowers.

Today Kait and Arielle uncover the truths of balancing masculine and feminine tendencies whilst dating. In a society where feminism is growing and the #GIRLBOSS movement stresses independence in women, they talk about how it’s important to balance that with living in the soft, feminine side as well! How do we balance our boldness and femininity? Take a listen and find out!

Tell us about your singleness journey.

  • Arielle said she’s spent her season of singleness speaking life, seeking guidance from mentors, and overall becoming the woman she’s fully meant to be.
  • Even though now she’s in a season of dating some, she says it’s still a time for GROWTH for her.
  • You can desire marriage but, “Dance with your creator first!”

How do we embrace living in our feminine?

  • Both Adam and Eve were made in God’s image. Both male and female were made in His image.
  • We are raised in the “pink” and “blue” condition
  • Both feminine and masculine have to exist.
  • There’s a blendedness between feminine and masculine and being aware of that is the first in living out the feminine in confidence.
  • Men can be sensitive, and it’s possible to LEAD out of sensitivity as well, which is a concept often left out of society.

How do we balance our feminine with our masculine energy?

  • There's a balance between the two, a permission to be bold and also permission to be led.
  • Arielle talks that even though she’s more independent, she’s had to learn to lean into her feminine side and let her boyfriend take care of her. It’s not that’s turning off but there are moments where she has to learn where she doesn’t need to be bold, she can tap into her more feminine and nurturing side.
  • A lioness protects and she nurtures all in the same moment.
  • Both men and women can equally learn to balance into their feminine and masculine sides.
  • Feminism was supposed to encourage and empower women, but NOT discount the men or women’s relationships with them.
  • At the core women do want to be taken care of and men do want to take care of women, but it takes practice to let it happen! Especially if you have you strong feminine energy as a male or masculine energy as a female.
  • Balance. Balance. BALANCE!

How do we surrender control of doing things our own way?

  • When we look to God, our needs look very different in comparison to what we think we need.
  • A lot of times what we think we desire isn’t actually what we need, so we have to search for God first and surrender control.
  • The whole aspect of control is oftentimes stemmed out of fear from past hurts.
  • We have to be willing to be flexible! We can voice a need but still give space for the other person to get there on their own as well.
  • You have to ask yourself if your “need” is something that you can let go or if it’s something that will impact the relationship.
  • How someone meets your need is not going to be exactly the way you imagine it.

How does one date as a #Girlboss?

  • Remember the context of what you’re doing! You’re getting to know someone when you date, not in a negotiation, boardroom, etc. Girlbosses are amazing, but you CAN let your guard down as well!.
  • It’s not to dumb down your own personal opinions, but to give space to both parties involved.
  • Be HONEST!
  • In a relationship, listen, talk, and let the conversation breathe!

Advice for those who are wondering why a relationship hasn’t happened for them yet?

  • There’s a timing for when God has that person for you, when He brings that person into your life it will be a time to help you find that balance.
  • Arielle said that when God brought her boyfriend into her life, it revealed a lot to her about control.

What’s your final nugget of dating advice?

  • Enjoy the dating season! In the positives and in the negatives.
  • Look for what you do want in your future spouse as you date!
  • Not every person has to be for you and you don’t have to be for every person.

Other Resources:

Follow Arielle on Instagram HERE

Visit her website HERE

Listen to her first EP oniTunes or Apple Music


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