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What If You Think You're Unattractive

with

Kait Tomlin and Hailey Kenyon

Kait and Hailey share their personal stories of feeling unattractive and then leave us with some ways they have corrected this thinking. 

Kait’s Story

  • Kait got her period at the age of 10 and with this started developing boobs, got hair on her legs, and grew a lot taller than other people, and this is where her uncomfortability in her own body started and the lie that she was unattractive began.
  • In order to mask this and not feel unattractive she started looking to men and performance. 
  • Eventually these thoughts led her to dating an abusive and toxic guy. 
  • She had believed these lies about herself so much and for so long she didn’t think she was worthy of being treated more. 
  • If we don’t believe we’re beautiful then it’s hard to expect someone else to make us feel that way because it’s a lot of responsibility. 
  • In this toxic relationship, he cheated on her multiple times, and she began comparing herself to those other girls. 
  • Around the same time she went on diet pills and was the skinniest she had ever been so when she went off these diet pills and filled out more, she began comparing herself to that past version of herself that was very unhealthy. 
  • So then she started photoshopping every photo of herself and it got to a crippling point where she couldn’t even leave the house if she didn’t feel her skinniest self because she didn’t want any pictures of her to be taken. 
  • You are not alone, you never know what people are going through. 

Hailey’s Story

  • Hailey remembers being so tall in middle school. She had a crush on a guy in middle school and remembers walking by the group of guys eating and somehow they had found out she had a crush on this guy and she overheard them talking about it and them saying “Ew Hailey Kenyon, not the other Hailey.” That etched something into her that day going forward and the standard of beauty was so high. 
  • She never wanted to admit she wanted to feel pretty and beautiful. 
  • She felt like standing out made her unattractive.

Final Takeaways

  • Having to learn to receive compliments helps so much. We have to practice this. 
  • Stripping down the layers of all of this like makeup, hair, outfits. 
  • Learning to love the Jesus in you. Finding things in you that are attractive because God created that in you. 
  • Being grateful for how God has created you helps you FEEL attractive. 
  • It’s always a work in progress. 
  • So many things that aren’t physical attractiveness that we feel we need to cover but we don’t. Christ made those parts of you. 
  • Chasing outer beauty and chasing objective attractiveness will never leak from the outside in. 

Photo of Kait Warman

Kait Warman

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Kait Warman is a best-selling author, speaker, popular relationship coach, and the founder of Heart of Dating. She helps thousands of men and women on their journeys through the conversations on the Heart of Dating Podcast, which launched in 2018. 

Through her ministry, Kait’s mission is to empower both men and women to have the courage to own their story, walk in victory, thrive with purpose, and discover clarity and vision in their life and relationships. In her new book, Thank You for Rejecting Me: Transform Pain into Purpose and Learn to Fight for Yourself, Kait vulnerably shares how she grew through her deepest, darkest rejections and offers readers the tools to heal from the past, take back their power, and walk in strength, victory, and love into their future. Kait currently lives in the Los Angeles area and loves sunshine, walks, Jesus, and lip syncing to Celine Dion.

Hailey Kenyon

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Hailey Kenyon is the Digital Marketing Coordinator at Heart of Dating. She has been with HOD since January 2022 where she stared out as an intern. Hailey is also a Content Creator & Communicator. She has a heart for seeing the younger generations walk out their faith boldly & love others deeply. You can follow her on instagram for daily stories and encouragement and check out her website as well!

Headshot of Hailey Kenyon

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