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MM: Right Person Wrong Time Is So Stupid

with

JJ Tomlin

Today JJ explores the idea of "right person, wrong time," sharing his own story and providing insights on commitment, responsibility, and trusting God's plan in relationships.

Introduction

Hiii HOD fam, we’re back and ready to dive deep into one of the most fascinating topics we've tackled this season. Today’s episode explores a commonly debated idea in the world of dating — the “Right Person, Wrong Time." Join us as JJ Tomlin dissects this concept, providing personal anecdotes and biblical insights. 

Right Person, Wrong Time: Myth or Reality?

The phrase "right person, wrong time" is often used to soothe heartache. But is it a helpful concept, or does it oversimplify the complexities of relationships? Throughout the episode, JJ Tomlin urges listeners to examine this idea critically. He points out that while the notion may be comforting, it can mask deeper issues related to commitment and personal growth. 

“Meant to be” and Oversimplified Advice

One common phrase to reckon with is, "if it's meant to be, it'll be." JJ argues that such statements can oversimplify our feelings of confusion and anxiety. They often spiritualize the process, leading to passive thinking rather than proactive healing and growth.

Healing and Readiness: Are You Truly Ready to Marry?

JJ emphasizes the importance of personal healing and readiness in a relationship. He raises a vital question: "If you meet the right person tomorrow, are you ready to marry them?" This moment of introspection encourages us to consider whether we've moved past our major and minor healing periods. If we haven't, we might not be ready for a new relationship, no matter how "right" the person seems.

Healing from Past Hurts

Whether you're grieving the loss of a loved one or recovering from a divorce, addressing these wounds is essential. Time and intentional healing prepare us for the emotional bandwidth required in a relationship.

Personal Experience: The Washington, DC Story

JJ bravely shares a personal story involving a complicated relationship he had five years ago. Meeting a girl in Washington, DC, they later reconnected, having both matured and grown in their faith. Despite mutual attraction and positive experiences, JJ faced significant relational anxiety and fear of commitment. Ultimately, his hesitancy led to the end of the relationship.

Lessons Learned

Reflecting on this, JJ acknowledges that the woman’s decision to leave was essential for their growth and future happiness. Both have since married other people, a testament to God’s timely plan. This underscores the complexity of timing and relational readiness, pushing us to look beyond simple phrases and towards a deeper understanding.

God’s Plan vs. Personal Choice: The Balance

A recurring theme is the balance between trusting God’s plan and making wise, proactive decisions. JJ discusses the theological implications of believing in "the one" and the idea that our responsibility involves choosing wisely within God's broader design.

The Snowman Analogy

Much like sculpting a snowman, finding a partner involves narrowing down numerous possibilities to find someone with compatible values, life direction, and relationship goals. This process requires wisdom, actively seeking God’s guidance, and making informed decisions.

Forgetting Regrets: Moving Forward with Trust

Citing Philippians 3, JJ encourages us to forget what’s behind and strain toward what’s ahead. Regrets about past relationships can hold us back, but by trusting in God’s plan and praying for closure, we can embrace the journey ahead with hope.

Pursuing Community and Faith

JJ advises deepening relationships with God and our community to counteract feelings of loneliness and regret. Praying blessings for ex-partners and being genuinely happy for their future is an act of grace and trust in God’s abundant goodness.

Final Reflections: Embracing God’s Plan

Ultimately, the episode challenges listeners to trust in God's plan over romanticized notions of soulmates and perfect timing. By letting go of a scarcity mindset and believing in God’s provision, we open ourselves to possibilities we may not have considered.

The “Right Person, Wrong Time” debate is complex, but with faith, wisdom, and personal growth, we can navigate our relational journeys confidently. Embrace the healing process, make wise choices, and trust that God has great plans ahead. Remember, HOD fam, relationships are a beautiful struggle, and your journey is uniquely and wonderfully yours.

Till next time, stay grounded in your faith and keep your hearts open. Much love!

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JJ Tomlin

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JJ Tomlin is a missionary kid born in Belgium, originally from Tennessee, and currently residing in the OC. He currently works in Gaming/E-Commerce, enjoys watching his Tennessee Titans on Sundays with his Goldendoodle Teddy and loves working with Christian men to raise the bar in singleness and dating.


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