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Today JJ is joined by Tim Lukei to talk about something we all know but rarely talk about, men’s groups not being fun and how to build a really good one.
Introduction
Have you been in boring men’s groups? What drove it?
How do you get to a place where you’re consistently seeing men prioritize and choose a men’s group/breakfast/etc.?
Does the big ministry and retreats you do flow into the small group setting?
How do I start a group or a ministry with my church?
What’s the importance of activity (some kind of venue or campfire) to do a men’s group?
Where to find Tim
Hey hey hey podcast fam, welcome back to another mini man-sode on the Heart of Dating podcast!!! We’re continuing in season 12 and today we’re going THERE. We’re talking about men’s groups…dun dun dunnnn! We know, we know, we’ve all had different experiences when it comes to men’s groups BUT a common theme we don’t talk about is that they are ususally pretty lame. Today we want to dive into how to really build a men’s group that’s GOOD and not lame. If you’re ready to go and transform your men’s group…let’s dive in!
Starting with a men’s ministry, Tim has talked to so many people in different churchs where the men’s groups aren’t necessarily BORING, but it’s complacent, it’s flat, it’s not vibrant, it’s not activated. Often what he hears when he’s talking to churches is that their demographic is 60+. There’s this thing that happens where men in their 20s, 30s, 40s, don’t have TIME to engage in a men’s ministry or a men’s group. But, that’s where Tim asks the question, what are you prioritizing in your life?
We need to reach guys in their 20s, 30s, and 40s for a lot of reasons but one is, that divorce typically happens between ages 27-36. Tim thinks that this has a lot to do with the prioritization of guys in that age group not prioritizing growth. It’s important to think of what the barriers may be in the way of a man attending a men’s group.
Tim ALWAYS wants to create environments that are FUN and exciting that are going to be funny and ALSO being able to worship and listen intently to the speaker when he gets up and then they’re not going dang that was lame. He wants to create enviornemnts where he laughs histerically and then is also convicted, challenge, encouraged, inspired, all of those things! So that when he leaves he enjoyed it so much that he wants to figure out how to get plugged in.
Tim thinks that LAUGHING and PLAYING is actually a huge missing link in men’s ministry. Those things NEED to happen! Men’s ministries should truly be like youth ministry. Play a game on stage, or do a skit. AND this isn’t just for fun it’s actually part of a strategy where it’s breaking down walls for them to better receive what God has for them.
It’s all part of Group Life at Mariners. You won’t see “men’s ministry” or “singles ministry” it ALL falls under Group Life. The number one goal and thing they want to do is they want to put men in groups. They feel like that’s where they see most transformation happen. The bigger events like Saturday breakfast and retreats are what Tim would call end of the funnel. The goal isn’t to just do a really great event well, it’s all about getting them into groups.
They’re able to do this because they have INCREDIBLE leaders. You can’t have a thriving men’s group without a core leadership team and a bigger leadership team to execute the mission. If you don’t have great leaders and massive buy in and committed, activated dudes you’re not going to get very far. Beyond that, if you don’t have an executive pastor or leadership team that believes in men’s ministry it’s going to be a really tough road. The WHY for everything they do is to get men connected and into life groups. They have over 100 men’s life groups and Tim is so incredibly proud of that.
At almost every church there is probably a men’s GROUP, not a ministry, but a GROUP that’s meeting at some point. You can probably go find a men’s group at your church. If it doesn't exist then absolutely go grab those guys in your life that have a desrie to be in community, do life together, and formalize it more than just hanging out and going golfing. There has to be intentionality around it. The friendships around you right now can create a men’s group but it takes a LEADER saying that he needs this so he’ll create it and being INTENTIONAL. There has to be preparation too. Everyone wants to be apart of it, not many want to lead it.
It’s pivotal. Naturally, men are usually more authentic and vulnerable when they’re DOING something alongside someone. By doing that activity eventually men open up about what’s happening. This might be a first step for someone who isn’t really ready for a group but is up for an adventure.
Find out more about Tim and what he’s doing at Maverick River Collective, https://maverickriver.com/about-us/.
Tim Lukei is the Men’s Pastor of Mariners Church in Irvine California. He has over 20 years of ministry experience and has been on staff at Mariners since 2008. Tim has been married to Korrie since 2006 and has 3 kids (Maverick, Sawyer, Greenlee).
They live by the beach and enjoy all things in and out of the ocean, and love to travel and create family adventures. Tim is a dynamic leader with an entrepreneurial approach to ministry that has proven successful repeatedly at Mariners.
Since Tim began leading the Men’s ministry at Mariners since 2016, the ministry has seen 300% growth. Along with numerical growth, he has moved the median age from 55+ to a thriving, multigenerational, youthful ministry of men that span from their 20’s through the 90’s. Men of Mariners now has over 100 men’s life groups meeting and serving regularly. Men of Mariners has 3 annual retreats (Kayak, G4, Man Camp) with up to 400 men in attendance and many intentional environments for men to engage with the church and deepen their faith.
Tim believes when you activate the heart of men and they encounter Jesus everything changes. The marriage is changed, the fathering is changed, the workplace, the neighborhood, and the church all becomes better.
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