Let’s pause here because I know SO many Christian singles feel the pressure to “know” quickly, or are taught that some mystical confirmation is all you need. But as Kait points out, “If you think every 20-year-old knows exactly what the Holy Spirit is saying to them, that’s—you’ve got some issues there.” The reality is, infatuation, hormones, sincere but immature faith—all of it can get mixed up with what we think is God’s voice. Yes, God leads and confirms, but discernment grows in the context of wise community, honest conversations, and TIME.

For Miah, those missing ingredients set the stage for pain she never saw coming: “When I was 20…I felt like I hit the jackpot, that this was the safest, kindest person I’d ever met. I was floored…I was so confident in that space.” But the early signs—subtle shaming, secrecy, spiritual ultimatums—were dismissed or downplayed by her mentors. “Just a spiritual attack,” they’d say, when she raised concerns. And so the cycle deepened.

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Miah bravely details the gut-wrenching trajectory of her marriage: emotional whiplash, relentless confessions, spiritual gaslighting, devastating isolation—even physical danger. “Day after day, confessions for months…he’d degrade my body, say he didn’t love me. I don’t want to live.” The low points were terrifying—at one point, her husband attempted to physically harm her, and yet, every time, the apologies and short-lived “honeymoons” drew her back. Friends and church leaders, instead of stepping in, minimized her pain, telling her, “It’s just marriage. Marriage is just hard in the beginning.”

“They hadn’t seen this side of him,” Miah says. “Abuse is so often hidden,” Kait notes, reminding us: “If you’ve never been in it, there really is no way to rationalize or understand.” The closing of community and the confusion church teachings can cause are real obstacles for those desperate to escape.

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The breaking point came when her husband’s confessions veered into the unthinkable. Miah made a split-second, holy-spirit-empowered decision to flee Europe with her son at the start of the pandemic. Doors miraculously opened, strangers helped with passports, and God paved a literal and spiritual path of escape. “He was with me then, and He’s with me now.”

Healing did not come overnight. Miah’s body bore the toll of trauma—she even suffered a stroke at 25, “my body just shut down.” But through forced rest, deep therapy, inner healing, and rebuilt community, she began to see herself through God’s eyes again. “He realigned what was misaligned…I came back into alignment with the identity of who Jesus says I am. The Lord was present, carrying me through.”

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Now, as a single mom, faith influencer, and truth-teller, Miah’s mission is to build bridges of understanding, hope, and real talk for Christian singles wrestling with their own woundedness, patterns, and longing. “Dating is hard,” she says. “But when you’re anchored to Jesus, tethered to the Holy Spirit, it’s so beautiful.” Her challenge: do the deep work of healing in your singleness. Educate yourself. Find mentors, therapists, friends who will fight for your flourishing and safety. And know that God redeems what was broken—all of it.

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If you’re in the thick of confusion, or questioning your worth, or wondering if healing is possible, let this be your lifeline: Jesus sees you. He hasn’t abandoned you. Redemption is on the other side of your most painful yes.

We love you, HOD fam. We’re in this together. 💛

Let’s keep building bridges, telling the truth, and learning to date—and live!—with hope.

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