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Holding Space For Other People's Brokenness

with

Antoine Bradford

Heart of Dating welcomes Antoine Bradford, formerly known as ABIV, to the show!

He is an independent singer songwriter from Southern California. Growing up in the black church, he finds himself heavily influenced by gospel and soul. Since becoming a Christian, Antoine has fused together his artistry and his gospel-centered vision to create a unique sound in Christian music today. Not quite r&b - not quite gospel, his music, though unlabeled, has been a unique and fresh sound that everyone didn’t know they needed.

Antoine’s latest EP releases, "Even in the Dark" and “Dear Struggling Christian,” were both born from a place of seeing a lack of honesty about being a Christian and still struggling with things like sin, doubt, anxiety, and depression. Antoine's desire is to make honest music to inspire others into an honest lifestyle that deals with these struggles with a message of hope in Jesus Christ. 

On today's episode, Antoine shares his story of dating and struggling with brokenness and shares his testimony of meeting his beautiful wife Siena, whom he’s been married for four years.

Can you share about some of the difficulties you have experienced in the past season ?

  • Antoine shares about finding the Lord and transitioning from secular to christian dating.
  • At the beginning, he dated out of loneliness- which lead him to a missionary dating relationship and engagement which then had a negative impact on his creativity and walk with the Lord
  • His past broken engagement left him with some insecurities and trust issues 
  • He embarked on a healing process 
  • Kait and Antoine discussed the importance of taking a heart inventory to make sure we don't date out loneliness to fill a void.  Importance of being honests with ourselves
  • Antoine talks about the importance  of processing our emotions to heal from brokenness.  These experiences help us to shape who we are.
  • Antoine shares about the pain of  losing his father at a young age .  Katie and Antoine discuss the process of grieving and how it changes us and gives us a new perspective.  It’s important to give people space to process their emotions
  • Kait and Antoine discussed how people who have experienced deep pain can have more development in the character of Christ-- they developed their character, their love for themselves and for God.  Brokenness can be a source of power 

Could you share a little bit about how you met your wife Sienna and your story?

  • Antoine met his wife while she was working in the coffee shop and they became friends.
  • Antoine actually was interested in her friend, but God has a funny sense of humor and they ended up together.
  • He shares that his brokenness nearly limited him from ending up with Sienna because he had to work through it to be healthy for her.
  • Sienna gave him space to work through some of his heartaches due to his broken engagement and loss of his father. 
  • Overall there was space to work through the brokenness.
  • It’s crippling to believe the ideas that you have to have it all together to have a healthy relationship. It’s all about working through it!
  • Antoine talks about how even though originally he wasn’t interested in Sienna romantically, he let God work through that space and ended up finding his wife by being open to what God can do.
  • Antonie and Sienna’s story is a testimony of giving space for brokenness to find a healthy relationship within it.

What is your final nugget of dating advice?

  • Seek counsel whenever you’re pursuing someone. 
  • Have trusted voices in your life to speak into your relationship.
  • Wrestle in the tension of the in-between and be ready to take that next step with the Lord.
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Antoine Bradford

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