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How to Thrive When You’re Single Later In Life

with

Mandy Hale

Heart of Dating welcomes the incredible single woman herself, Mandy Hale, to the show today!

Mandy is a blogger turned New York Times best-selling author and speaker. She is also the creator of the social media movement, “The Single Woman.” With a heart to inspire single women to live their best lives and to never, ever settle, Mandy cuts to the heart of the matter with her inspirational, straight-talking, witty, and often wildly humorous take on life and love.

Mandy’s message reaches literally millions of women across the world every day through her blog, books, and social media platforms.Mandy has been named a “Twitter Powerhouse” by the Huffington Post, a “Woman of Influence” by the Nashville Business Journal, and a “Single in the City” by Nashville Lifestyles magazine. She has also been featured in Forbes magazine, the Huffington PostGlamour.com and many other outlets.

Some of her amazing books include The Single Woman: Life, Love & a Dash of SassI’ve Never Been to Vegas But My Luggage Has , and You Are Enough: Heartbreak, Healing, & Becoming Whole

Today Mandy and Kait have a real and raw conversation about how to be SINGLE after 30 and THRIVE. Mandy is SO real about the dating struggle which she knows well as a single woman who is in her early 40’s. At the same time Mandy brings so much encouragement about how to embrace your life and thrive as a single.

What’s the best part of being single in your 30s?

  • Being single in your 30s is a great time to find yourself without having any restrictions. 
  • Mandy says that her singleness in her 30s has truly let her move forward in her calling and career.
  • Having the extra time to get to know yourself in your 30s and 40s is more about finding yourself than finding a spouse.
  • It’s easy to feel the pressure of having to find a spouse and meeting someone. 
  • It’s important to learn to be happy on your own FIRST!
  • “When you start to find that fulfillment in your own life, you’re not looking for someone else to come in and find it for you”
  •  If you're looking for someone to complete you, then your putting too much weight on a relationship.
  • “Every person we date until the right one is the WRONG one”

What would you say to those who are single and are in a rush to get married?

  • Many reminds us that dating is supposed to be FUN and we need to let go of the pressures of dating. 
  • Mandy talked about having the right attitude when it comes to dating and that Confidence goes a long way.
  • Don’t sit around being miserable about being single, because you’ll let it become a self prophecy. Maintain a positive attitude.
  • Don’t put the pressure that every first date has to be the one.
  • Every date and step you take is one step closer towards finding the person that is meant for you.
  • “You don’t want someone that’s not for you”

How do you go about gaining more love and confidence for yourself?

  • A lot of it comes from age and learning to take the time to get to know yourself.
  • You can learn how to gain more confidence from your mistakes!
  • If your single in your 30s and 40s you’re courageous as you’ve had to confront things about yourself and have learned to do life on your own.
  • Mandy also talks about how therapy has helped her become more confident in herself!
  • “I’m not going to settle for someone who doesn’t understand how awesome I am and doesn’t treat me the way I deserve to be treated”

What does battling comparison look like for you?

  • The age of social media has made it easy to compare because we’re constantly seeing someone’s highlights of their life.
  • Sometimes the grass isn’t always greener! Sit down with your married friends and see their perspective too!
  • There's comparison on the married side as well. 
  • You might have to take a social media break to get you out of a negative headspace.
  • Social media should be something that can add to your life, not define your life. 

What is “dating break” and why should we consider one?

  • You don’t want to waste time with someone you know you’re not compatible with for the duration.
  • Just because someone is interested does not mean you need to jump into a relationship with them.
  • You sometimes have to take a step back to realize what you’re looking for.
  • It’s easy to get caught up in the mindset that you need to be in a relationship. 
  • If you’re healing from a past relationship, don’t jump right back in because a new person will simply be a band-aid to your wounds.
  • Don’t settle for what is convenient.
  • When it comes to dating, you have to know what you’re looking for and be honest with others about that. Sometimes a dating break helps you determine that. 

What is your final nugget of dating advice?

  •  If someone wants to be with you, it’s going to be clear. If you’re having to look for “clues”... then it’s time to move on.
  • If they like you, you’ll know. If they don’t, you’ll be confused.

Other Resources:

Follow Mandy on Instagram HERE

Visit Mandy's site HERE

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