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The Importance of Values, Vision, & Effort in Life and in Dating

with

Joel Brown

Today Kait interviews the inspiriting Joel Brown. Joel currently lives in Bali and in fact during this interview you could hear the birds chirping outside so you’ll want to get on a plane after for sure!

Out in the gorgeous land of Bali Joel runs incredible conferences with his friend Emile Steenveld to help people really dive into figuring out WHAT is limiting them at their CORE.

Joel is also huge on contribution, his website addicted2success.com has over 155 Million views worldwide and his podcast, Addicted to Success, has had 3.2M plays and downloads- WOW!!!

Joel believes that you can make all the money in the world and you can build the empire but truly our purpose lies in what you can SHARE with others. Joel has also worked alongside some of the GREATS in the field like Tony Robbins, Gabby Bernstein, and so many others.

In essence, you will just be blown away with inspiration on today’s episode no matter WHERE you are in your dating life.

….But the reason why we also think this episode is so important is because it can be extremely problematic to not have vision for our lives before entering into dating. We really NEED to have vision for our lives as individuals and bring that into our dating relationships.

Do you truly know your vision and your purpose?

Do you know what you truly VALUE in life?

Do you recognize the value of effort that is required?

If you can take 3 things away from this Joel encourages you to work on “VALUES. VISION. & EFFORT” in your relationship and in your life.

What is VISION, and what is PURPOSE?

  • People think that GOALS are the vision, but goals are just stepping stones to the vision.
  • Vision is the BIG END PICTURE that you see before you. People think they can go one step at a time.
  • What is your 3 month vision? What is your 1 year vision? If you’re thinking of these questions and are unsure about the answer, it is possibly because you haven’t thought about it for your life and have unconsciously floated through life.
  • But what is REALLY good for you? What are you called to?
  • "Your god given purpose is a light and ALIVE all the time.”
  • The things you are excited about are pointing you to your purpose.
  • What are your values? Your values will light the path to your vision. They will light up in your heart in SPIRIT, and that is INSPIRATION.
  • Where there is no vision, the people are unrestrained, but happy is he who keeps the law - Proverbs 29:18
  • How do you solidify your habits SO MUCH SO that it becomes part of the habitat of your being? How do you embody the beliefs you need to believe to achieve the goals you want to achieve at the highest level? How can you be so skilled in your craft that it is just a part of your being?
  • "Are you BEING what you are saying? Are you being what you are saying you’re doing?”

How do you find your purpose?

  • Your PURPOSE is a LIFE LONG thing.
  • Ask yourself these questions:
  • 1- What are you good at? What are you efficient in? What have people said “hey you are good at this!”?
  • 2- What do you LOVE? What lights you up? What do you value most? What do you love talking to other people about? What books do you love reading?
  • 3- What SOLUTION will you bring to the world? In order to live in purpose you must be bringing some sort of value to the world.
  • 4- How am I going to monetize this? A lot of people avoid this because of their relationship with money, but it is what you DO with your money. Money is not bad.
  • Purpose lies within our potential, we don’t get it straight away, we have to work towards it. There is no way you will be rewarded with purpose or meaning without giving it a go first. You can’t get that straight away.
  • Purpose is our RETURN to HIM for the life He has given us.
  • You are NOT limited by your raw materials.
  • “You’ve got to work with all that you’ve got so that you can give all that you can.”

How do we know when it is time to switch gears when our dream is just NOT working out or panning out? What is the balance in maintaining that and actively moving forward?

  • Write down your 10 year vision and write it with I AM statements. “I AM living in Santa Monica, I AM running a business, I AM married, ect.”
  • Put detail into it. Envision it vividly.
  • You need 3 major elements in this 10 vision- Learning, Living, Giving
  • You need to think about the big things while doing the small things so that all the small things go in the right direction.
  • We will never know the exact plans which is why we sprinkle it with faith for GUIDANCE.
  • But we cannot be SO attached to it that things cannot shift.
  • We unconsciously live with 90-95% of our thoughts being the SAME as the day before- SAY WHAT! We are living consciously with only 5-10% NEW thoughts.
  • In order to create change our THOUGHTS have to be greater than the feelings we currently feel. The unconscious mind it the BODY. The unconscious sends signals to your gut and your body will react.
  • If we can get CLEAR with where we are heading, we are no longer a slave to our minds, we are a master of it.
  • Joel’s LAW OF INTENTION is- Set it and get it! Start with a 10 year, reverse engineer it and then every decision you make will be driven by this vision.

What about values?

  • You need to write down your TOP values.
  • The word values comes from the word EVALUATE so every time someone asks you to do something you evaluate it based on your values.
  • "If you surround your vision and mission around your top values, what inspires you from within there is so much power in that”

Why is it so important to have vision and purpose before dating? What kind of damage can be done if someone does not live into their purpose and identity before dating?

  • You want to make sure you have complimentary values and missions.
  • Going into a relationship where the values are not similar or supportive you are going to run into TROUBLE.
  • You cannot change someone, even if you want it for them so badly… they have to want it themselves. So being in a relationship with someone and you are well PAST diff
  • In relationships we might let our feelings OVERRIDE the system… but the bible talks about being deceived by our hearts.
  • Give it TIME to see if you are truly in line with your values.
  • When you first meet you are “showing your best cards”, but what we want to see is someones bad cards and from there decide if we can commit to that.
  • We should be going for great and excellent, but NOT perfect.
  • Joel also open up about a marriage he had 4 and a half years ago.
  • Love is not the most important thing, EFFORT is important. You want to be with someone who makes the EFFORT?!
  • If you can take 3 things away from this Joel encourages you to work on “VALUES. VISION. & EFFORT” in your relationship

What about WOMEN having their own vision in relationship?

  • Sometimes especially in the church you might see that women kind of put it on men to have all of the vision and therefore in her life of singleness she MIGHT not be pursuing vision.
  • Joel says "As a Christian we are meant to live FOR CHRIST, so WHY would you live FOR your partner?”
  • Who is a visionary and who is the integrator? This way you can be more CLEAR about where you are going together as a TEAM.

What is your final nugget of dating advice?

  • "Get clear on really who YOU are. What lights YOU up. Get clear on your vision for the future before sharing that space with anyone else. This will be the greatest gift you will share with someone else."

ResourcesFind Joel at Addicted2success.comConnect with Joel on Instagram HERE.

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