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Never Been Kissed

with

Kait and JJ Tomlin

Join Kait and JJ as they discuss the lies surrounding this topic, their personal thoughts, and both ends of the spectrum when it comes to never been kissed. 

Great Date Question

  • What is the biggest lesson you’ve learned this year?
  • Kait: Who you are becoming by the things you’re doing? 
  • JJ: Intentional growth. 

What are the lies associated with “never been kissed”

  • Feels like people ASSUME you need X experience 
  • I feel unprepared
  • Feeling like I am behind or missing out
  • Feeling like something is WRONG with me
  • Unworthy
  • Unchosen
  • Like a child
  • Some mentioned they keep it to themselves because it’s discredited them in the past.

What do WE think about “KISSING”?

  • We think it’s okay to kiss. 
  • There’s a deeper question here though. Can you kiss without it going further? Can you kiss without lusting? 
  • Is it worth going there? 

Why is it a blessing to “never been kissed” in some ways?

  • You don’t kiss a ton of people and form ties to people who are NOT for you.
  • During the DATING phase can be such a blessing to wait to kiss because your vision isn’t distorted. You can remain objective. 

On the flip side…Do some people hold it TOO rigidly?

  • Idolized to the point it elevates you morally and makes you prideful about it. 
  • There is a balance between being proud of yourself for holding a boundary and then being prideful and feeling better than others because you’ve not kissed someone. Unfortunately this usually comes from purity culture teaching people to shut down their bodies. 
  • The funny part is that both sides of the pendulum are wrong because they are inherently defining you. 

A Few Things To Touch On

  • SHAME from being kissed when you didn’t provide consent. Men, always asking for conscent is GREAT. 
  • If ASKING for consent is going to kill the mood, the mood is not that stable to begin with!
  • Speak up for needs and boundaries.
  • Don’t shrink boundaries to people please. 

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Kait Warman

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Kait Warman is a best-selling author, speaker, popular relationship coach, and the founder of Heart of Dating. She helps thousands of men and women on their journeys through the conversations on the Heart of Dating Podcast, which launched in 2018. 

Through her ministry, Kait’s mission is to empower both men and women to have the courage to own their story, walk in victory, thrive with purpose, and discover clarity and vision in their life and relationships. In her new book, Thank You for Rejecting Me: Transform Pain into Purpose and Learn to Fight for Yourself, Kait vulnerably shares how she grew through her deepest, darkest rejections and offers readers the tools to heal from the past, take back their power, and walk in strength, victory, and love into their future. Kait currently lives in the Los Angeles area and loves sunshine, walks, Jesus, and lip syncing to Celine Dion.

JJ Tomlin

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JJ Tomlin is a missionary kid born in Belgium, originally from Tennessee, and currently residing in the OC. He currently works in Gaming/E-Commerce, enjoys watching his Tennessee Titans on Sundays with his Goldendoodle Teddy and loves working with Christian men to raise the bar in singleness and dating.


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