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What If You Eliminate People Based On Height


Kait Tomlin & Hailey Kenyon

Kait and Hailey talk about the hot topic of eliminating people based on height, their own personal stories, and give a few final takeaways at the end. 

Kait’s Story

  • When she was younger she grew tall quickly so was totally okay with dating guys that were her height. 
  • She always wore heels so what happened with height was that it revealed for her that she had a deep insecurity of her looks and how she valued herself. She always dated guys around her height, rarely anyone over 5’9. 
  • Often dating guys around her height brought about insecurities in her that weren’t about the guys being shorter and she shouldn’t date shorter guys but actually her addressing how she felt about her own body and how she saw herself. 
  • 70% of women wanted to date a guy over 6’0 tall and the average guy is 5’9.
  •  When diving into why women wanted to date a guy over 6’0 she had answers like “I don’t feel feminine,” “I don’t feel pretty,” “I feel insecure,” “I don’t feel like a shorter guy can actually protect me.” 
  • If we’re being honest, at the root of a lot of that is that we feel insecure about something in ourselves, in our looks, and in our bodies that we’re trying to mask by this other person being taller so that we don’t have to look at that insecurity, truly heal it or face it. 
  • Hollywood portrays all of these actors as being really tall when they’re not actually. 

Hailey’s Story

  • She’s always been tall, she’s 6’1. 
  • Always told from a young age that she “needed to find a really tall guy,” “dating will be really hard for you,” “you have to find a guy taller than you.” So this set her up really poorly for dating expectations. 
  • Her two serious relationships were with guys that were her height or a little shorter than her and this brought up insecurities for her. 
  • She’d google pictures of couples where the girl was taller. It was such a mental hurdle for her to get over. 
  • Would always have people trying to matchmake her with people just because they were tall. 
  • Has had several guys significantly shorter than her ask her out. She had this thought that short guys just wouldn’t be into her so she wouldn’t catch on that they actually liked her. It seems like men don’t care that much. So if men don’t care that much why are women caring so much? 

Final Takeaways

  • Kait: You can totally have a preference. Don’t treat it as a nonnegotiable though. Don’t eliminate someone solely based on height. Be open. If you want to treat it as a nonnegotiable, fine, but it’s probably going to take a lot longer, and you have to be okay with that. Challenge your preferences, you never know what God will do with it. 
  • Hailey: You’re ruling so many people out just based on height. If you're a shorter or an average height girl challenging you to get curious about what your insecurities are. It’s not as big of a deal for the guy than it is for the girl. If you find yourself saying “I like everything about him, except his height, I wish he was taller” then challenge yourself to just go for it. 

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Kait Warman

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Kait Warman is a best-selling author, speaker, popular relationship coach, and the founder of Heart of Dating. She helps thousands of men and women on their journeys through the conversations on the Heart of Dating Podcast, which launched in 2018. 

Through her ministry, Kait’s mission is to empower both men and women to have the courage to own their story, walk in victory, thrive with purpose, and discover clarity and vision in their life and relationships. In her new book, Thank You for Rejecting Me: Transform Pain into Purpose and Learn to Fight for Yourself, Kait vulnerably shares how she grew through her deepest, darkest rejections and offers readers the tools to heal from the past, take back their power, and walk in strength, victory, and love into their future. Kait currently lives in the Los Angeles area and loves sunshine, walks, Jesus, and lip syncing to Celine Dion.

Hailey Kenyon

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Hailey Kenyon is the Digital Marketing Coordinator at Heart of Dating. She has been with HOD since January 2022 where she stared out as an intern. Hailey is also a Content Creator & Communicator. She has a heart for seeing the younger generations walk out their faith boldly & love others deeply. You can follow her on instagram for daily stories and encouragement and check out her website as well!

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