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Mini Man-sode 46: From Young Man to Grown Man

with

Andrew F Carter

Today JJ is joined by Andrew F. Carter to talk about discipline, consistency, growth, friendship, hunger, pain, and yes, even an ostrich and shark. 

Introduction

Hey Heart of Dating podcast fammm we’re back with another men’s minisode! Today we’re joined by Andrew F. Carter, the lead Pastor of Royal City Church. He gets up at 4am (whew). BUT he does nothing from 4am-6:30am but eat and distribute God’s word. Then he goes to the gym. Iron sharpens iron. So when a man encounters a man who’s doing something greater than he is, it challenges him to level up OR in his flesh he finds an excuse to see how that doesn’t apply to him. He used to be a gym owner and he wrote some books. He’s married to Kyra. Has 3 boys and first daughter is on the way. He came out of foster care. He bounced from family member to family member and when a family member couldn’t take him he was in foster care. He leads in authenticity for one goal…to lead people to Christ. His testimony is interesting and we think you’ll really enjoy hearing from him today. Let’s jump into today’s episode! 

Godly Community and Friendship

For Andrew, he had to be really intentional about friendship and community. Because of his past, it’s hard for him to trust people, so he had to be really intentional about that. Tuesdays are “dudes days” for him, they have a group that meets on Zoom every Tuesday for the past 3 years. That group is intentional about vulnerability with each other. That authenticity really starts with the leadership, and trickles down. When you lead with authenticity and vulnerability it gives everyone else permission to do the same thing. A great question to ask is “how did you feed your flesh this week?” 

A lot of the way Andrew operates is out of a place of abandonment from his dad. He wants to be the person that he needed as a kid. He needed that safe place, positive, masculine energy, accountability, he needed a dad. He needed to be the change he wanted to see. 

I noticed you don’t have a ton of content on singleness and dating! Why is that?

He has a little bit of resistance in him. He only preaches on what the Holy Spirit asks him to. His wife asks him to speak on relationships all the time because she knows it’s a hot topic and people are curious but he hasn’t gotten the green light from God yet. He’s actually just preached on relationships oddly enough, God gave him a dream with the whole outline.

If you had a room full of 20s and 30 year old guys what do you think the number one question would be that you’re asked?

He thinks it would definitely be about pornography or masturbation. Andrew tries to steer people to people who are more qualified to talk about that sin because he never personally struggled with pornography. He didn’t grow up in a Christian home so his mom actually gave him pornography magazines when he was 13. Becuase there was no shame or guilt around it, when he realized that it went against what God wanted for him and was a sin he was about to let go of. 

What are you seeing as a trend for your 20, 30, 40, single guys that’s specific to 2024? That you are challenged to lead by example for.

The discipline and consistency aspect. A lot of guys in their 20s lack discipline, consistency, and follow through. When it comes to spirituality he sees a HUNGER in this next generation, however they lack some practial confines in how to actually discipline it and use it. 

Andrew is very intentional to sit down with guys and get lunch with them as God places it on his heart. Because of the lack of discipline, they don’t respond to text messages very quickly. So he has to be really patient. 

Growing from a young man

The best teachers in life that Andrew has found are, rock bottoms, empty pockets, and broken hearts. One of those three are bound to come to force some reflection and change. You will continue to repeat that cycle over and over until you learn the lesson. 

We need to be leading others and be lead. You can never be the top of the fountain. You have to constantly be seeking out accountability, mentorship, and growth. We all need to be around people who are going to challenge and sharpen us and pull the best out of us. There’s too much at stake for us to be lazy. 

You have to understand the sovereignty of God and know that even his “no’s” have goodness written all over it. 

There’s purpose in pain. There’s perspective in pain. 

Would you rather fight an ostrich to the death or fight a shark but the worst that can happen is you lose a limb?

Hands down fighting an ostrich to the death. 

Parting advice for singles

Before you enter into a relationship make sure that you’re healed from your last one, healthy, and whole. Too many people arenn’t doing the proper work before getting into another relationship and it’s setting up the next relationship for failure. Get to the place where you’re okay being alone with just Jesus before you get into your next relationship. A man can’t take a man to a place he’s not willing to go or hasn’t been before. As a leader, as a man, the same is true with a woman. Make sure you’re being a man that deserves a Proverbs 31 woman. 

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Andrew F Carter

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Growing up in unfair circumstances, in and out of foster care, living in the flesh and battling worldly desires, Andrew has overcome these challenges once he surrendered it all to God. Experiencing the transformational love of Jesus, Andrew has now dedicated his life to help recruit souls to Heaven.

Andrew is the founder and lead pastor of Royal City Church in Los Angeles, California. He runs a popular live YouTube Bible study called 'Coffee and Prayer' that streams on all major podcast platforms. He has appeared on television networks, podcasts and stages preaching the good news of Jesus. Andrew travels the world guest speaking at conferences, churches, and events.

Andrew has become an inspiration for others who face difficult times and struggles. With millions of followers, Andrew has become an influencer for God's Kingdom. He is a leader, speaker, writer, husband and father. Andrew and his wife, Kyra, live in Los Angeles, California.

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Website IconPodcast Mic IconInstagram IconFacebook IconLinkedIn IconTick Tok IconTwitter IconYoutube IconCustom Icon

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