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Mini Man-sode 35: She's Entitled/Ungrateful


JJ Tomlin

Today JJ talks about if it’s a red flag when a woman has an attitude of being entitled or ungrateful and how you should evaluate. 


Hey hey hey guyyyss!! Welcome back to another men’s minisode that obviously is for men, but as always things can also be switched for women. As we continue in this season on red flags we’re tackling a big one today. She’s entitled or ungrateful…yikes!! This is so real you guys and we just thought we needed to unpack it and have a whole conversation. 


What’s funny is that JJ loves going to Reddit with questions to get a ton of different viewpoints and answers. So naturally he did the same thing with the topic today and what he saw over and over again was the following scenario. A guy saying, him and his girlfriend had been dating for a year or two and actually have a really awesome relationship. They have a lot of fun together, they share a lot of the same interests and hobbies, and he thinks she is super kind and fun. That being said, he has a really hard time getting over this attitude of ENTITLEMENT or she’s just not really grateful. She may have come from money, maybe had parents who told her she was really special, it’s just when the guy tries to do things for her, it’s never enough. It’s always coming across as she wants more, more, more and he can never satisfy her, she’s never happy, she’s never pleased, and that’s the negative side of the relationship. This whole scenario is so real and tough! 

The thing about it is that when it comes to dating this attitude of entitlement probably isn’t shown in the first date. This is something that you begin to see over time and start to see this core attitude of entitlement or really, tow of the most dangerous words in humanitity,  “I deserve.” the word, deserve, as Christians should mean something completely different than the normal secular world. Truly deserve should only have one meaning for us and it’s that, I deserve something much worse then I get to live in my daily life. It shouldn’t just mean I deserve NOTHING, it should also be that I deserve God’s judgement and wrath for how I have fallen short and sinned against him. 

We will say that if you encounter someone who is entitled that doesn’t mean they’re not a Christian. However, we do think it is a really big red flag because of what it indicates about their emotional and spiritual lens of how they stand in life. Becuase at the core of entitlement there’s an attitude of them deserving something. 

The thing is that in order to feel entitled, or owed, or like you deserve something, you have to keep score. The idea of entitlement actually starts in their spiritual life and THEN extends to all areas of their life such as, job, family, etc. Entitlement is a lot of things, it’s selfishness come to the surface, it’s also what we would call arrogance. They are always right, because their world cannot exist if they’re wrong, because that menas they won’t get what they want. Entitlement is one of the more demonstrative characteristics of selfishness (which we all have). 

One common question an entitled person is always asking and prioritizing is this, what do I get out of this?” OR, “What did I not get out of this that I’m not happy about?” Entitled people don’t do things that they’re not going to get anything out of. This is the big problem! They cannot truly serve others because they can only serve themselves. 

Humility is rooted in gratefulness. Entitlement is rooted in ungratefulness. If you think you deserve something, then you’re not really grateful for it. 

The foundation of entitlement and ungratefulness is that what you have is not enough. The opposite of that is only through deep satisfaction and completion I am grateful. Gratefulness is a CHOICE. The byproduct of deep satisfaction truly is gratefulness. That’s the connection between entitlement and ungratefulness, both are deeply unsatisfied with what they have. 

Lack of Gratitude

There is a reality where this comes to love languages. Especially when someone gets what they or are loved in their own love language how do they respond. Pay attention to that because that will show if they are a truy ungrateful person or not. 

The healthiest relationships are rooted in gratitude. That you take NOTHING for granted that they do. 


If a girl expresses, “I want more of this, I need this, You are not giving me this..” it’ll be easy to go back to this episode and be like, she’s so ungrateful. We need to be able to receive feedback and then ask ourselves these questions. 

Is this true in any way? 

Have I genunitely tried 100% with my best effort? 

Have I listened to it? 

Have I came up with a game plan together to address their desire? 

Have I sought out a professional opinion? Somebody who is more mature and honest. 

Thank you guys for sticking around for this episode! We know it’s a hard one but it’s so important! 

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JJ Tomlin

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JJ Tomlin is a missionary kid born in Belgium, originally from Tennessee, and currently residing in the OC. He currently works in Gaming/E-Commerce, enjoys watching his Tennessee Titans on Sundays with his Goldendoodle Teddy and loves working with Christian men to raise the bar in singleness and dating.

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