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True Love, The Reality of Marriage, and Gender Roles


Jamie & Aaron Ivey

We are so excited to welcome back Jamie Ivey to the show, this time also accompanied by her amazing husband Aaron! Jamie and Aaron Ivey live in Austin, Texas where they parent four kids and do their best at changing the world from right where they are. Jamie Ivey hosts the podcast, The Happy Hour with Jamie Ivey, has written some books and will stop anything for some 90’s hip hop. Aaron Ivey is a pastor and songwriter, has written some books, and loves spending time cooking in the kitchen. They both believe that stories have such a huge impact on the world and are honored to share the stories from On the Other Side with you. Jamie Ivey loves to encourage women to love Jesus with all of their heart, soul, and mind. She believes stories change the world and reveals this through her popular podcast, The Happy Hour with Jamie Ivey. Jamie insists that living faithfully in the here and now is the key to an abundant life. Aaron Ivey is the Pastor of Worship + Creativity at The Austin Stone Community Church in Austin, Texas, where he pastors a church of 8,000 people in the heart of the city. Aaron knows both the tension and thrills that come with serving the local church. As a father to four children, three of whom are adopted, he also has insight into leading a multi-cultural family.

They recently co-wrote the book Complement: The Surprising Beauty of Choosing Together Over Separate in Marriage.

You wrote a book together called Complement! Could you tell us a little bit about it and your heart behind it?

  • There’s essentially two books in one, and they chose to not share what the other person is writing to get a raw version of how Jamie feels and how Aaron feelse when it comes to complementing one another in marriage
  • Jamie talks about how they agree on a lot but some of their opinions are a little different as well.

How can your book Complement help people in their single and dating lives?

  • Jamie talks about that as far as completing someone, as followers of Jesus, we have to realize that no one can do that for us. 
  • You have to learn that you are a whole person by yourself. Be confident men and women of God.

What advice would you give to singles to help them remove marriage from the pedestal in their lives.

  • Be content in every season and don’t focus on rushing to the next step. Just be content with where you are
  • We do have an example of a great marriage in our savior Jesus. He was never married, but every concept in the book, Jesus is our example.
  • Follow Jesus’ lead when it comes to how you act in a relationship and out of a relationship
  • If a marriage is hard, it takes work. If a marriage is awesome, it takes work.

You talk about looking for someone that compliments you when it comes to looking for a spouse, could you elaborate on what you mean by this?

  • Complement doesn’t mean the same, sometimes two very different people can end up being the best for each other as well.
  • There will be feelings of infatuation… those feelings are great, but not strong enough to build a marriage on.
  •  It’s not just about how someone makes us feel, it’s about who they are in the present moment and who they are starting to become.
  • “You don’t have to settle because you think one day they MAY be ok”- Jamie Ivey

As singles, we don’t always know what intimate “love” is and we throw the word “love” around to the point that it’s diluted in so many ways. What are some things that you believe singles do need to know about love that may in turn, shape how they end up dating?

  • Aaron share about how he used to not know how to fully love anybody until he learned and believed that God loved him.
  • You need to fully embrace and understand that you are unconditionally fully loved by God. 
  • Love is both a noun and a verb. To love someone you have to choose to love them and put work into it.
  • Love is sometimes having to put your own desires down.

People are getting married later in life and staying single longer. What are some ways singles can practice loving sacrificially?

  • We live in a culture where people bail when things simply get hard. 1 Corinthians 13 does not just apply to people who are in marriage relationships, it applied to everyone.
  • You can be an effective lover of people as a single person and we should get into that mindset.

Could you talk a bit more about Ephesians 5 and why it’s gotten a bad reputation when it tells wives to “submit to their husbands”?

  • Its been a term that has been abused in the past by stealing dignity of a woman but that’s not what this verse is saying at all. 
  • The man being the leader of the household, is simply God calling him to be the lead servant. To lead. To serve. To Shepherd. It’s a call of responsibility not dictatorship.
  • Jesus is the biggest example of a servant leader when it comes to a marriage. 
  • It says husband to LOVE their wives, and we have someone diluted this verse into it being misunderstood.
  • Jesus did not lead his ministry with men in the front and women in the back

Connect with Jamie & Aaron!

Order Complement HERE

Follow Jamie on Instagram HERE

Follow Aaron on Instagram HERE

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Jamie & Aaron Ivey

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