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Hey HOD Fam! Welcome back to a BRAND NEW SEASON—Season 17—of the Heart of Dating Podcast! We’re kicking things off with the LEGEND himself, Dr. Gary Chapman, author of The Five Love Languages, alongside our faves, Kait Tomlin and JJ Tomlin! This episode launches our “Breaking Cycles” series, right as we head into a fresh new year. We're going deep on one of the BIGGEST barriers in dating today: The Fear of Commitment. Whether you’re a “lone wolf,” “overthinker,” “wanderer,” or “intentional romantic,” THIS episode is for you. Get ready for wisdom bombs, practical tips, and some serious heart-level conviction. Let’s GO!!!
Breaking the Cycle of the Fear of Commitment
A Fresh Look at The Five Love Languages
Practical Ways to Overcome the Fear of Commitment
The Power of Preparation
Navigating “Options Overload” in Modern Dating
Attitude of Love: The GAME CHANGER
HOD Challenge
Why do so many singles struggle to commit? Dr. Gary Chapman doesn’t shy away from the deep end: as humans, we're naturally self-centered. Our culture (and sometimes even us Christians) approaches dating asking, “How can this person meet MY needs?” That’s a recipe for disappointment and chronic FOMO or as JJ Tomlin says, “FOBO” (fear of a better option)! If you’re constantly searching for the perfect person, you’ll be single forever—because no one is perfect!
Dr. Gary Chapman calls us back to a biblical, Christ-like perspective:
Dr. Gary Chapman breaks down how the love languages have dialects, and that your personality interfaces with the way you give and receive love. His new book (with Les and Leslie Parrott) and the new 5 Love Languages advanced quiz will give you a personalized, deeper look at your unique relational wiring. Psst: The quiz reveals not just your primary love languages, but your dialect and how your specific personality interacts with them.
Don’t just analyze your date—work on YOU. Invest time serving others, growing in your local church, and even in ministries that stretch you outside your comfort zone. Dr. Gary Chapman recommends premarital resources like “Things I Wish I’d Known Before We Got Married” and “Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts”—for singles AND for couples moving toward marriage!
We know dating apps can make it feel like you’re fishing in the ocean for a soulmate, and not wanting to “settle” is real. But Dr. Gary Chapman offers a reality check: If you’re always convinced a “better” option is right around the corner, you’ll end up never choosing at all. Instead, make a list of what you think you need. Are you focused on the heart, or just on surface traits? Wisdom from mature, married mentors can help you get perspective and prioritize what really matters.
What sets lifelong relationships apart? Two people consistently putting on the attitude of Christ—serving, loving, and putting each other first, day after day, year after year. If you can build a friendship or romantic relationship on that foundation, you’re set up for a relationship that glorifies God and overflows with lasting joy.
Let’s start the year off right:
And don’t forget: your singleness, your waiting, your journey—it all matters! Step out in faith, break the cycle of fear, and LOVE BIG.
See you next week with more wisdom and real talk on Heart of Dating! ❤️
Dr. Gary Chapman is an author, speaker, pastor, and counselor! He has a passion for people, and for helping them form lasting relationships. Chapman is a well-known marriage counselor and director of marriage seminars. The 5 Love Languages® is one of Chapman’s most popular titles, topping various bestseller charts for years, selling over thirteen million copies and has been on the New York Times best-sellers list continuously since 2007. Chapman has been directly involved in real-life family counseling for more than 30 years, and his nationally-syndicated radio programs air nationally on Moody Radio Network and over 400 affiliate stations.
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