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Dating ONLINE!... (and Debunking Other Christian Dating Stigmas)


Hannah Brencher

Heart of Dating is thrilled to welcome Kait’s friend Hannah Brencher to the show! She is a TED Speaker, and blogger dedicated her life and work to the brokenhearted. She founded More Love Letters in 2011. Her books "Come Matter Here" and “If You Find This Letter” are in bookstores across the country. Hannah's life revolves around dead-lifting, theology, and true crime. She lives in Atlanta with her husband Lane and they are currently expecting their first child!

On today’s episode Kait and Hannah talk all about ONLINE dating! They talk about the stigmas, why Christians should try it out, and how it can actually be a great way to find your own love story!

What has your dating and singleness journey looked like for you?

  • Hannah mentioned she had a high school sweetheart, but she didn’t really start dating seriously for a while as she felt she knew what she was looking for.
  • She truly started her career as an entrepreneur at age 22 and felt it was hard to find someone to date who was not intimidated by her life choices. 
  • She learned that there are people who will accept her and her “girlboss” personality.
  • You don’t have to choose between finding a spouse and pursuing a career. God can work through you in multiple aspects of your life.

Could you share your story about your blogpost from years ago about love and how to find it?

  • A reader wrote back to Hannah Brencher that she met her husband online and a love story shouldn’t have to meet expectations of how you think you should meet your spouse.
  • Someone wrote back telling Hannah how she met her husband online. This comment changed Hannah’s perspective and she ended up meeting her husband online. 

Can you talk about some online stigmas/ things to be weary of?

  • It’s easy to treat people like commodities on dating apps, so be careful not to do that. 
  • Set boundaries for yourself for how often you should be on it.
  • Be upfront for what you’re looking for.
  • Own your desire!
  • Be weary to not go on without the intention of meeting someone as it can possibly become an addiction or a crutch.

Why do you think there’s a shame with meeting someone online?

  • Meeting online doesn’t take away from your love story.
  • You can still be intentional from online dating. You can be in a regular relationship past that.
  • The great thing about online dating is that most people have the intention of being on there to date.
  • There should be no shame with meeting your significant other online. 

How did you drop the Hanky with your husband?

  • So Hannah met her husband on the Hinge dating app.
  • She actually reached out to him after matching by using the app’s icebreaker questions!
  • Hannah really wanted to talk to him so she made sure she took the initiative to reach out! She made the first move!
  • They had their first date about two weeks later.

What do you think of Christian “Dating Terminology”?

  • Hannah became a Christian in her 20s, so she didn’t grow up with “Christianese terms”.
  • It took her some time to understand dating in the church, but she did learn to avoid missionary dating. 
  • She didn’t want to do her faith online so she wanted a Christian man to walk her journey with her.
  • She learned that spiritual leadership is more than knowing the lingo. Actions speak louder than words and it’s not necessarily about him knowing the Bible more.
  • A lot of guys will tell you what you want to hear, but not necessarily be ready for that commitment.
  • Make sure what they’re saying is matching up with what they’re doing. It comes down to the heart and character of a person. 

What is your final nugget of dating advice?

  • “The right person is not going to make you feel less of yourself or make you feel like you have to be less of yourself to fit into their life”.
  • “Do not think you have to change who you are in any way to be what you think someone is looking for”.

Other Resources:

Follow Hannah on Instagram HERE

Discover more about Hannah HERE

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Hannah Brencher

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