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Mini Man-sode 15: Female Friendships in Dating & Relationships

with

JJ Tomlin

Join JJ as he talks though if men can have female friendships in dating and relationships. 

Quick Stats

  • 45% - 55% of monogamous relationship report having some sort of affair taken place all the way from sexual encounters, emotional affairs to flirting with others AKA they have been cheated on. 
  • So there’s a great chance that the person you meet when you are dating has a history of being cheated on in some fashion especially if they have had more than one partner. 

Healing from Cheating

  • Guy or girl please do not date and get into a relationship until you have taken the pain of being cheated on seriously, began the healing process and found freedom. This is best for you and the people you will date.
  • God is gracious and can sustain, it is just creating an unwise and difficult situation for both parties… SINGLENESS is for HEALING, GROWING, MATURING not DATING.

If you are dating and in a committed relationship the level female friendships you have you have to ask yourself this question…

  • What is worth more??? 
  • The trust between me and my partner? Or having this friendship with this female??? Which is worth more to me??? ESPECIALLY if there is trauma and hurt and pain that they have even began or are healing from… Which is more important??? 
  • When it comes to her story of HEALING…. What’s more important?? Your pride and desire to have that relationship or her healing and growing???
  • When she looks backward at her healing journey, whether you got married or not…Do you want to be a man who contributed that healing process for her?? Do you want to be able to say because I found a truely loyal man, who cared about my pain and my emotions, I was more healed after knowing this dude. Or are you just going to be another defensive dude.. Who couldn’t get over his pride.. And unfollow or mute a few girls on Instagram… or settle for a handshake or a nod to greet the other girl at church.

Closing remarks on friendships with women

  • I think I look back on my friendships with women and really there a lot of special, Godly women I admire, trust, respect and love and the ones I really cherished the most really shared that common thread of Christ..and simultaneously those were the ones where it was most clear that we were friends, only friends, and family in Christ. We looked after one another, could be honest and really sought the best for one another, served one another.
  • Anything other than that is just more an acquaintance / friendship that I value but it is not worth fighting for with a partner, doesn’t hold a candle to my partner. 

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JJ Tomlin

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JJ Tomlin is a missionary kid born in Belgium, originally from Tennessee, and currently residing in the OC. He currently works in Gaming/E-Commerce, enjoys watching his Tennessee Titans on Sundays with his Goldendoodle Teddy and loves working with Christian men to raise the bar in singleness and dating.


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