How do I show interest?
As a dating coach, I get sooo many questions about how to show interest. Whether you’re a man or a woman, showing interest to someone you're crushing on can just be, well… HARD! Of course, how you show interest may range from person to person, (we want you to do what feels right for you), but I also encourage you to CHALLENGE yourself. So let’s dive into the question of the hour…
Let’s talk to the ladies for a second, and then we’ll move on to the fellas…
I hear from many women, "If I show him interest he won't take initiative and won't be a leader." While I can understand that fear, it actually often doesn't work that way. The majority of guys appreciate knowing you're into them! It helps ease their fears of rejection (YES, they have fears too), and gives them that much more confidence to plan and initiate. Believe it or not, many guys have NO CLUE if you are interested in them. You'll be pleasantly surprised to know that even the most confident men appreciate a green light from a woman.
Ladies, you CAN show interest. You can also make a move by dropping the hanky! You know I LOVE to encourage dropping the hanky… don’t know what that means? This term was coined way way back in the Victorian Era (if they could do it then… you can do it now!) It was used to describe a situation where a woman wanted to show a man she was interested. The two of them would be at a formal gathering like a ball, and the woman would lock eyes with a man of her suiting from across the way, and then proceed to drop her handkerchief. The man would then come running, pick it up, and hand it to her. Henceforth, the first move was made and the conversation was initiated. Sounds simple right? ;)
Can I encourage for you a second? I do not believe it is too much. I do not believe it is going to be overwhelming to the man. And, I do not believe it is going against biblical principles.
Ladies, just remember to remove any expectations and be prepared for rejection. Be confident in who you are and set your mind up for protection from rejection. Even if the guy is not interested… it does NOT mean you are any less worthy or incredible or loved. You are ALL of those things. You have to know and be confident in what you bring to a relationship.
Men, it’s your turn…
I get it! Rejection can be scary... but don't let it keep you from finding out what God can do in your boldness! Remember that leaders lead with clarity, so try to avoid ambiguous actions or phrases that may accidentally cause a friendationship (AKA = friends who end up ACTING like they're dating without the actual title... hello emotional confusion).Just remember that every rejection is God's protection. Even if you are nervous, she will probably love it.
If I could encourage you with anything it would be this… don’t let your fear get in the way. One of the biggest hindrances I hear with the guys is that they don't want to step out because of their fear of rejection. It can be difficult to separate rejection from our worth. It can be easy to let it hit our pride. But through the dating process, we have to know that every NO is one step closer to your forever YES.
Lastly, men CALL IT A DATE. Don’t call it a hangout. Clarity is KINDNESS.
Feel like you're ready to make your move but not sure exactly where to start? Need a little more advice and a lot more direction? Look no further… just download our FREE guide on How To Show Interest FULL of tips and tricks for showing interest for both men and women.
You got this!
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