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HOD SELECT: Dating Apps, Lust, and Window Shopping?


JJ Tomlin

Join JJ as he dives into dating apps from a Christian perspective. He talks about glorifying God in the choices you’re making 

Dating Apps Are Here to Stay

Dating apps have become a part of our lives, and despite how frustrated you may be by them… they are here TO STAY. In the past, people would meet through friends, family, or work. And this still happens!!! However, the rise of technology has changed the game. According to statistics, before the pandemic, 40% of couples were meeting through dating apps, and it’s our guess that this number has risen a ton over the last couple of years (and yes even Christians have met online).

That being said, with the rise of dating apps there has also been a swing back towards wanting to meet in person. People are feeling fatigued with the endless swiping and messaging on dating apps. This is understandable, as it can be difficult to get to know someone through a few messages. Our biggest recommendation here, is getting in person as soon as possible, because in person interactions can be so different!

Despite the fatigue with dating apps, they can be a GIFT. Why? Because they offer a convenient way to expand your reacha and meet people you’d probably NEVER get the change to meet otherwise (small towners, we’re especially looking at you).

Glorify God in all Choices.

Can you Glorify God in Online Dating? You CAN! God works through technology! But it’s so important to check yourself. Be open to feedback and take responsibility for where you personally need to grow in integrity and honor. By being diligently mindful of your choices and taking responsibility for your own growth, you can through time become a better version of yourself and glorify God in all of your choices… yes even with online dating!

How to Find Quality Matches Online with Wisdom

Let’s talk about online dating with WISDOM.

Tinder, for example, is like the King China buffet. People go there for one thing: the hookup. Sure, some people find spouses and partners there, but it is not the ideal buffet for a healthy diet that fits with the quality matches that are being sought (a Jesus loving person!!!).

Bumble is like a classic American buffet. It is popular with the older folk and baby boomers, but it is also easy to engorge yourself.

Hinge is like a brunch buffet, with lots of quality matches. But it is still important to use discretion, as it is easy to get out of hand.

Our personal favorites are the Christian dating apps Holy App and Salt because it takes the guess work out of “Are they a Christian?!” 

Set Boundaries for Dating Apps

When using dating apps, remember to be mindful of the type of people you are interacting with. Many of the apps are not necessarily Christian-based, so it is important to be aware of people you are interacting with. And always remember to set boundaries for yourself- dont engage with it TOO much. Set limits for yourself. 10 minutes in the morning and 10 at night.

And guess what?! There are other venues, dating apps, that are better suited to find quality matches. Again, Holy App and Salt are two popular Christian-based dating apps (that we personally, LOVE!!). These apps are designed for people who are looking for Godly, healthy matches who are serious about marriage. By using these apps, you can be sure that you are engaging with people who share the same values as you.

Did you know dating apps can actually be pretty addictive? They provide a source of validation and attention for so many people, making it is easy to go into these apps seeking a boost of self-confidence.Get some accountability in this area of your life to keep you from slipping into the endless loop of seeking validation. It is easy to date in a silo and act foolish without anyone knowing when it comes to dating apps. Be transparent and vulnerable with a trusted friend to set yourself up for the most success. 

Set Your Expectations Low for Dating

When it comes to dating apps, remember to have realistic expectations. The chances of matches ending up in a first date are actually quite low. According to research, if you have 10 matches, 80% of those are not even going to end up on a first date…and that’s okay!! Of those remaining, you may or may not even go on a second date. You’re likely to get ghosted and rejected at some point. Keeping your expectations low and not expecting an amazing experience every single time..will set you up for better success on dating apps!

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JJ Tomlin

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JJ Tomlin is a missionary kid born in Belgium, originally from Tennessee, and currently residing in the OC. He currently works in Gaming/E-Commerce, enjoys watching his Tennessee Titans on Sundays with his Goldendoodle Teddy and loves working with Christian men to raise the bar in singleness and dating.

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