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Mini Man-sode 12: Four Signs That You’re Not Ready to Date, My Brother Part 1

with

JJ Tomlin

JJ talks through part one of signs you’re not ready to date, including having peace in your life and being a clear and honest communicator. 

What happens if you date when you’re not ready

  • If you go out into the world of dating not truly ready to date, you are going to set yourself up for failure in every sense. 
  • You cannot simultaneous heal, pursue Jesus and become whole while also dating.
  • Singleness is the best time to pursue jesus, discover your mission, build financial security.. NOT dating.
  •  The damage you are going to cause on your friendships and community… if you are dating like a fool, ghosting, making out with every girl…look at the wake of your dating life. 

Are you leaving every girl you come across better than you found her?

  • Is she more confident in her walk with jesus because you encouraged her in her gifts? Her calling? Her faithfulness?
  • After she dates you… Is she more confident that great, christian brothers in christ do exist because of how much you honored her?? Or is she pissed off that she just ran into another christian dude who was all talk… 
  • Is she challenged in the way she dates after you because of how respectful you were of her boundaries, how you listened to her so well? She has a new bar for men because of you.. New, higher bar.. 
  • Is she surprised at how clearly and kindly you communicated that you were not interested but think the world of her? 
  • What are you leaving in your wake of dating??  

Do you have peace about your past relationships? About yourself? About your identity?

  • Can you speak about your ex? Gracefully? Kindly?
  • Can you look backwards and own your mistakes?
  • Can you live in the present with the wisdom and learning of your past? And speak about it fully, fully transparently. 
  • How transparent and honest you can be with your past reveals exactly how much character and ownership you take.

Clear and honest communicator

  • Don’t date until you are fully committed to being a clear and honest communicator. 
  • If you can’t clearly communicate a few things, then you are not ready to date.
  • Can you ask out clearly in person? Example, “Hey, I really appreciate x, y, z thing about you and i would love to take you out on a date sometime. Would you be interested? No need to let me know right now, hit me up later with your answer and either way I promise I won't make it weird haha!”
  • Can you be honest and clear about boundaries?? AND… follow them up!?? 
  • Do you follow up your words with commitment? 
  • Are you.. A man of your word? When it comes to following up?? 
  • Can you be clear and honest about when you are NOT interested? Can you be clear and honest when you ARE NOT interested in moving forward?? 

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JJ Tomlin

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JJ Tomlin is a missionary kid born in Belgium, originally from Tennessee, and currently residing in the OC. He currently works in Gaming/E-Commerce, enjoys watching his Tennessee Titans on Sundays with his Goldendoodle Teddy and loves working with Christian men to raise the bar in singleness and dating.


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