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Dating with Depression/ Mental Health Issues


Kait Warman & JJ Tomlin

Today’s episode focuses on the topics of mental health and depression. If you are feeling hopeless or are struggling with thoughts of suicide, please call the National Suicide Hotline at 800-273-8255. Help is available.

Kait & JJ are back with another hot and timely topic. As we celebrate mental health month, Kait gets vulnerable as she shares her mental health journey and how it played into her and JJ’s journey. Our Video Podcast is HERE.

Depression 101

  • One thing to understand about depression is that anyone can go through it including leaders.
  • It’s okay to NOT be okay.
  • We do not have to have positivity for every sentence.
  • Depression shows up in different ways. It’s NOT just about curling up on your bed not being able to move… it can OFTEN come when life is seemingly good and there is a lot of pressure. It can show up when we are doing too much and we aren’t setting proper boundaries.
  • Depression is a chemical imbalance in your body that may lead you to a spiritual state.

Symptoms of Depression

If you have been feeling 3 or more of the following things for 2 weeks or more, you may be depressed:

  • A depressed mood, apathy, and not excited about things
  • Irritability or agitation
  • Decrease interest in pleasure or pleasurable things
  • Changes in weight
  • Sleep disturbance
  • Sleeping too much
  • Fatigue
  • Feelings of hopelessness

If you struggle with depression, how do you know if you are in an okay place to date someone?

  • You first need to be able to recognize that you are facing depression and that you may need professional help by going to therapy. 
  • You really need SUPPORT and people who are  a safe place for you to help you along the journey.
  • When it comes to dating, you want to make sure to not fully rely on the person you are dating.
  • You have to ask yourself if you have safe places in your life to move through the depression.
  • Be intentional with the process of healing. You have to take your power back and actually start the process on your own.

How do you know if you should still date them despite the depression?

  • Listen to your council and listen to the Holy Spirit.
  • When things are hard and not okay, You will still need to have peace.
“You have to depart from the responsibility of saving them.”

What to do if your partner is depressed and you are choosing to support them?

  • Remember that they are a person first and foremost and are not defined by depression.
  • They did not choose this, It is just a chemical imbalance in their body.
  • Educate yourself about depression.
  • Depart from the responsibility of saving them and focus on supporting them.
  • Be a great listener and stable and consistent.
  • Stay positive, regardless of how they or you feel.
  • Be a great friend and not just a romantic partner.
  • Lead the relationship by example - gratitude, joy, fun, and balance.

How to move through depression in dating?

  • Make sure to have other outlets, other than just each other.
  • Kait tells her story and how she needed structure. She started implementing daily prayers with Kristen, morning routines, and spent time processing with friends
  • JJ needed to process the external of Kait and have his own outlets for himself.
  • We each needed to weigh what was God saying to us about working through this within the relationship
  • Seep patience in the process as it may take time.

Looking for therapy services? Heart of Dating is committed to helping others seek the help they need and has teamed up with Faithful Counseling, an online faith-based therapy service. It’s affordable and convenient. All Heart of Dating listeners can receive 10% off their first month Here

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Kait Warman

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Kait Warman is a best-selling author, speaker, popular relationship coach, and the founder of Heart of Dating. She helps thousands of men and women on their journeys through the conversations on the Heart of Dating Podcast, which launched in 2018. 

Through her ministry, Kait’s mission is to empower both men and women to have the courage to own their story, walk in victory, thrive with purpose, and discover clarity and vision in their life and relationships. In her new book, Thank You for Rejecting Me: Transform Pain into Purpose and Learn to Fight for Yourself, Kait vulnerably shares how she grew through her deepest, darkest rejections and offers readers the tools to heal from the past, take back their power, and walk in strength, victory, and love into their future. Kait currently lives in the Los Angeles area and loves sunshine, walks, Jesus, and lip syncing to Celine Dion.

JJ Tomlin

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JJ Tomlin is a missionary kid born in Belgium, originally from Tennessee, and currently residing in the OC. He currently works in Gaming/E-Commerce, enjoys watching his Tennessee Titans on Sundays with his Goldendoodle Teddy and loves working with Christian men to raise the bar in singleness and dating.

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