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Can Christian Women be Sexy?


Amanda Pittman

Amanda Pittman joins Kait Tomlin to discuss if christian women can be sexy and dive into some nuances within the topic. 

How do you define sexy?

  • DEFINITION: Exciting and appealing
  • Sexy is subjective. 
  • Sexuality and that sexual appeal was designed in our God given DNA. THERE IS NOTHING wrong with this.
  • God created humans in HIS image and called it VERY good. He made MALE and FEMALE- genitals and all- our sexuality is embedded within who we are.
  • He made the male body appealing to the female body and vice versa. And that ALONE will be sexy to some people. 
  • We can’t control if someone is attracted to us or not. 
  • Sexiness is not a sin. 
  • A woman could be completely covered up and men can still feel they are SEXY

There is a difference between BEAUTY and attractive- can you explain this.

  • There is also a difference between attraction and LUST
  • We can see and acknowledge beauty without being attracted to them. 
  • Sexy and SEXUALIZING someone are two different things!
  • Women can see another woman that is beautiful without their being any sexual attraction. 
  • Language matters. 

Let’s talk about how BEAUTY is in the eye of the beholder

  • Many times religious people punish naturally beautiful women.
  • Women who are more well endowed in certain areas have been demonized just by having the bodies they have. <<< this is UNFAIR because the same standard is not given to all.
  • When we notice someone is sexy we have to ask ourselves if they’re actually doing anything wrong. Are they actually not upholding the standard of the environment that we’re in OR am I noticing that they’re beautiful? 
  • We ascribe intent way too often. 

You say that sexiness is celebrated in the bible in Song of Songs. Can we talk about that?

  • Song of Songs is a collection of poems to be regarded and enjoyed as loving poetry
  • There is a theme of longing, desire and pursuit
  • Theme is a theme of sexual desire for one another
  • These poems would NOT be published in the BIBLE if the woman should be GUILTY to be attractive
  • We need to give women the permission to BE BEAUTIFUL as God intended.
  • Song of Songs 7:1-10- describes her unchangeable features- neck, nose, mouth, hair, stature this is WHO SHE IS- he is sexually attracted to WHO SHE IS.
  • At what point can women just exist in the bodies they’re in? 
  • Song of Songs 6:1-younger women who CELEBRATE the beauty of the older women.
  • Women’s bodies have been SO objectified–another woman’s BEAUTY is not her choice- but LUST IS OUR CHOICE. 

Now with ALL of this, how can we STEWARD sexiness in a healthy way?

  • There is a difference between being sexy and being suductive. 
  • We are trying to avoid women being seductive- the difference between being sexy and being seductive is INTENT.
  • Women who use their attractiveness to get a certain outcome- these are all intentional decisions in hopes someone else will give you what you want or lust after you.
  • We can’t ascribe that intent- only WE can and GOD can.
  • Modesty in our own hearts and our intent in it is so important. Be mindful and wise. 
  • The heart of modesty is what you make available. 
  • Someone who is provocative is choosing to arouse sexual desire and that’s different than being sexy or beautiful. 
  • Someone who is promiscuous is someone who has many sexual partners. We cannot automatically assume someone who is attractive is automatically promiscuous. 
  • We use these words like provocative, promiscuous, and sexy interchangeably when they’re not. 
  • You are allowed to take up space and be beautiful. 

Posting PHOTOS on social media that emphasize the way we look or how our bodies are shaped

  • We all have our own standards because we all have our own walks with the Lord. 
  • Context is SO important. 
  • Always be mindful of the end user. Why are people following you? 
  • Be mindful. 
  • We never know where someone is at with their walk with Christ. 

How does this affect outfits we may wear on a date?

  • Married: Check with your husband. His comfort level will inform you well. 
  • Single: What you use as bait to get him will be what you use to keep him. 
  • Be beautiful, put on something you feel GREAT in and comfortable and confident. 
  • What is your intention behind what you’re wearing? 
  • You have nothing to prove to him. 

Amanda Pittman

Amanda Pittman

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Amanda Pittman is an author, speaker, entrepreneur, and the Founder of Confident Woman Co., a ministry that equips women to stand confidently upon the finished work of Jesus.

Through Confident Woman Co., Amanda hosts retreats, conferences, online events, podcasts, videos and more.

Amanda lives near Dallas, Texas with her husband, Michael and her two children, Elijah and Lily.

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