• Radical honesty leads to radical healing. 
• Manda never thought she’d be the one to be unfaithful. It wasn’t like she woke up one day and decided she was going to have an affair. 
• This was something that was a part of Manda’s story for a long time before marriage and ignored. 
• If you think whatever struggle you have is just going to go away and that marriage will heal it or solve it - that’s absolutely wrong. Marriage will only highlight it more. 
• Whatever isn’t healed will come up. 
• Healing what you want to hide is so important. 
• The idea that you’ll find “the one” or your “soulmate” is so toxic and destructive because there is no one human being who will compliment you perfectly and everything will be perfect. 
• Fairytales aren’t real life. 
• You are a whole person, and no-one can complete you. 
• If you are dating, It can be a great opportunity to check in and see what’s coming up for you and learn from that so you can start tackling them not before you’re into marriage. 
• There is no better time to do the work than when you’re single. 
• The goal isn’t perfect, but to be perfectible and on a journey of growth. 

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• You have to get to the root to heal. 
• For Manda she traced back the root to her childhood. 
• Manda often says, “There isn’t a single person we wouldn’t love if we knew their story.” 
• Knowing someone’s story doesn’t excuse their actions but it does help to have compassion and empathy for them. 
• Therapy is huge but we do understand sometimes it’s hard to access that. 
• Solitude retreats, mentors, enneagram, mirror therapy, and podcasts. 
• Free way to get to know yourself better: The next time you go to hangout with a friend - ask them what it’s like to be on the other side of me? What do I leave in my wake? 
• Manda’s book has tons of questions to ask to get to know yourself better.
• You have to show up with a posture of humility. 

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• Literally pause. Get really still and really quiet. Get alone. 
• Start to talk to God about it through prayer. 
• Find one person you can talk to about it. 
• Journal about it. 
• Do not make choices that you cannot take back. 
• Don’t make any sexual moves with people that you can’t take back. 
• Make decisons based out of peace and clarity not rash decisions. 
• Don’t make decsions out of fear, make decisons out of trust. 

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• Come up with your non negotiables and don’t compromise on them for anyone. 
• 3-5 value things you will not compromise on. 
• Don’t search for a perfect person but search for someone who shares the same non-negotiables. 

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